


School, Homework, Love And Life With You

by justanartist



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst and Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-09-30
Packaged: 2018-01-23 19:27:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 31,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1576838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanartist/pseuds/justanartist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sequel of <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/1575443/chapters/3344564">Books, Summer, Coffee and Love</a>: It's their last year of highschool and after Blaine's dream of a summer break he has to face new things life has in store for him. Good and bad together with Kurt. Or at least that's what he hopes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Brave

Part 1. Brave

 

Senior year, the beginning of his last year at high school and Blaine Anderson was able to say it started pretty good. Actually it was magical but only for him. While any other around him began to talk about graduation, college, work all this stuff which was part of the term 'future plans' he couldn't even focus on stuff like that. Why? First because he was deeply in love with the popular Kurt Hummel. The beautiful, smart and brave Kurt Hummel. He was the one who could hold his hand, he was the one who was allowed to kiss him, call him his and sleep with him. He was allowed to do all the things only a partner was allowed to do. Actually this was all he needed to be happy. But Blaine wasn't as brave as is boyfriend and for sure not as popular. He wasn't popular at all. But it didn't matter because Kurt loved him for who he was. It should had been enough. But life is a bitch and Blaine had to go through different stuff instead of new homework, future plans and paying attention to his classes. So much about magical beginning and pretty good start.

The first week of school was exhausting. No one really talked to him or asked him out because his friends knew that he and Kurt were together but anyone else was just whispering. Whispers Blaine didn't like and he always looked for his boyfriend to calm himself down but he never told him about the whispers or that he thought the whispers were about them. Actually he wasn't even sure if they were about them but it felt like that. At the end of the day he was too exhausted to do anything. So they only finished their homework that needed to be done and laid on a bed for the rest of the evening until one of them had to go home.

Then there was the second week of school. Right before and after his classes when Kurt wasn't with him random people suddenly felt the urge to talk to him. Or to say, ask him out about if he and Kurt really were together. Last year those people never even paid any kind of attention towards him. All he did was nodding and staring at them. This sudden attention was really strange and hard to handle. Whispers, looks and strange questions. Blaine was used to this when he came out until it stopped and now he wasn't sure if it was any different. It was none of their business if he was with Kurt or not but since Kurt was popular and some people considered themselves as his friends, well, was it really that surprising? The only thing that kept him calm were his friends who always told the people to just back off and stop sticking their noses into stuff that has nothing to do with them. But only with Kurt next to him he felt the safest. With him no one even tried to talk to them and he knew it was because they all respected Kurt and were just too insecure if they could talk to him or not. Which was ridiculous because he was the loveliest person on this world.

Oh, and there was another thing that kept him distracted from his school stuff. Kurt Hummel himself and their relationship. During school Blaine was still unsure if it was okay to just act and be like any other couple because this was still McKinley, they were still in Ohio and teenagers were mean. Then there was the time when school was done and they would hang out together. Sometimes at Blaine's place, sometimes at Kurt's or somewhere else. Usually Blaine went home, did his homework studied a bit and then spent the rest of the day watching or reading something or went out with his friends – which didn't happen that often. It would have been naive to think that only the time he spent at school would be different, no, even the time after school changed. Wherever they were they both ate something together, began to do their homework but usually one of them got distracted by body parts of their partner. When Blaine explained something Kurt stared at his lips and couldn't hold himself back and kissed him which ended up them laying on a bed or when they were out somewhere both were lost in the others eyes and couldn't focus on homework. It were all those small things both suddenly found more interesting than anything else. Hands, eyes, ass, legs, hair, just everything and it happened right after the first time they had sex. Not that Blaine didn't like it because he loved it but the times they were alone didn't happen that often and he still had his issues with making out with his boyfriend while someone could always walk in. Kurt of course never complained but Blaine felt bad for it and he blamed his mother because she was just so curious and although she meant it good it was annoying. Maybe he was paranoid because when they made out and stopped no one came into his room or Kurt's for hours. But it was a risk and he wasn't ready for it.

Then there was his third week of school and he still wasn't used to all the questions and annoying people. And there was also this that he wasn't sure what he could do with Kurt. This was still a homophobic state and he was a bit scared to show affection. Like holding Kurt's hand in the hallways or leaning against him or – god forbid – kiss him. Thinking about it didn't help at all. So it wasn't surprising that Kurt asked him out about that.

“Are you scared or just embarrassed, Blaine?” Kurt asked as he leaned against the lockers watching Blaine pulling out his books.

“I'm not embarrassed.”

Of course not, how could he? With an amazing boyfriend as Kurt was? It should be the other way around – yeah he still had his issues with being the none-popular one of them.

“It's just... you know. They talk and it's Ohio so... I don't want us to get into trouble.”

This wasn't even a lie. He really didn't want to hear people call them names or make noises of disgust because they were together and acted like a couple.

“Blaine, they can't hurt us. I won't let that happen.”

No, he wouldn't let that happen and that was what bothered Blaine a lot. He knew Kurt would stand up for himself and for Blaine and Blaine? He wasn't sure about that because Kurt was not always around him and so weren't his friends and he really didn't want to fight with people. He was so tired of this because it happened when he came out. With a sigh he closed his locker and shoved his glasses back up his nose looking at his boyfriend and saw the worried look.

“I know. I know you are here and our friends are but... I'm... I'm not ready I guess.”

“But you want to, right? Hold my hand and those small things?”

Blaine nodded without hesitation and although Kurt smiled he saw the sadness. He just saw it and it hurt even more than what other people thought.

“I'm sorry...”

“No. It's okay. I understand.”

 

The thing was Kurt did understand but he also wanted to be proud of themselves. All he wanted was all Blaine couldn't give him at school yet. There were no other gay couples, not even in the past three years and he just couldn't tell what would happen if they did so. His mind though told him all these horrible things and he really didn't want to see his boyfriend getting hurt. It was just that he felt like he was living in a cage or made himself live in a cage. Not allowing himself to act like a couple with Kurt was really getting on his mood and instead of being happy he was sighing, staring sadly at his breakfast or books. He was so lost in his worries that he didn't realize other people could see it.

“Sweetheart, are you having troubles at school?” his mother asked when she walked into the kitchen and Blaine was staring, again, at his mug.

“Uh... no, not really.”

She sighed and made her well known – I know you are hiding something – face.

“I'm your mom, I know you, Blaine. Are you having troubles with Kurt?”

And Blaine knew he could try to deny it but she knew it better. Perhaps this was something a mother got when she became a mother. This special sense of knowing without words when their children are alright and when not. However, just because she could tell when he was alright and when not didn't mean he had to tell her. Not because he wasn't trusting her or anything but because this was a thing between him and Kurt. But he really needed some advise.

“It's just... I think I hurt him because I keep on rejecting him.”

His mother opened her mouth, her eyes wide and he saw how thousand of worries ran through her mind.

“But... but Blaine! He is such a sweet guy and he loves you so much and you two are so perfect for each other... are you unhappy?”

In any other situation Blaine had been groaning and blushing because she said Kurt loved him and they were perfect but not this time.

“I am happy, mom. I don't want to break up with him... but... but I just can't... at school.”

“Are you having sex at school!?”

“NO!”

Okay now he was blushing and groaning. Yes, this was his mother like he knew her and knowing she knew he had sex was just... it made him so uncomfortable he wanted to run into his room and hide for hours.

“It's not that! Jesus, mom!”

“I was joking, sweetheart,” she smiled and sat down next to him placing her warm hand on his shoulder: “Tell me what it is.”

He didn't think that it was funny what she said, not at all. So he took his time to collect himself, waiting until this embarrassing feeling stopped and sighed.

“I'm scared. Scared to be... be with him like we used to be, you know? Like holding hands with him at school or just be a couple because... 'cause... we are two boys, you know.”

“Oh sweetheart,” she sighed and pulled him into a close warm hug, like only a mother could do it: “I know it's hard. Especially here in Ohio.” She kissed his forehead like she used to when he was a child: “But there is no need for you to hide. Don't hide, Blaine. You are free to do whatever you want and be whoever you want.”

He let himself sink into her embrace and closed his eyes to breath in her familiar scent. Flowers and sunlight he always said.

“I don't want him to get hurt, mom. He is popular, he is loved and I just...”

“Honey,” she said quietly, pulling back and smiling at her son with so much warmth and love: “I know you used to decide for yourself. But you are no longer just yourself, Blaine. You are also a part of Kurt and Kurt is a part of you. Whatever you do, whatever he does it has always to do with you two.”

He blinked and looked at her quizzically.

“I don't understand.”

Again she smiled like she just realized although he is becoming an adult he still is this little boy who still need to learn and experience so much in his life. Despite the thing that it was true.

“When you are in a relationship whatever you do is linked to your partner. Not everything but most of it. And deciding this without talking to Kurt is not fair and it's not helping, you know?”

He slowly nodded but still didn't get what she wanted to achieve.

“You do trust him, right? And you love him and he loves you. Keeping this to yourself and doing this because you think it's the right thing to do won't help you. Kurt should know it because it would be fair and he is with you in this together. He is also gay, he is also part of this school and he wants you to be safe and happy too.”

This never really occurred his mind. Never. He never thought that his actions which were all in their best interest could have such an impact. Like he really wanted to do the right thing and just keep his boyfriend away from trouble and himself but by not telling him he didn't think it would be unfair. Perhaps it took much more to be in a relationship because his mother was right. Not telling Kurt what he thought was unfair and doing things without telling Kurt while he was part of it was unfair too. Biting his bottom lip he looked down and suddenly felt even worse.

“I had no idea mom...”

“Of course not, sweetheart. Don't feel bad. It's your first boyfriend and there is a lot of stuff you'll learn. Things school will never teach you.”

He sighed and nodded while she ran her fingers through his curls.

“I know you don't want to bother Kurt or worry him. But if you don't tell him what's on your mind he will worry anyway and he will think you don't trust him.”

 

* * *

 

That night Blaine couldn't fall asleep. There was this constant worry about how he made Kurt feel with what he did and say. While his boyfriend didn't mind to show what he felt for Blaine and wanted to show it Blaine refused to do those things and after he heard his mother out he couldn't stop thinking how much he hurt Kurt and what kind of message it was. Like he was really embarrassed or not proud of him which was not true and it hurt him so much that he probably made Kurt feel that way. Jeez, he thought. It was only his third week of school and his amazing summer dream was slowly breaking into many little pieces. It was such a perfect time they have shared. All the firsts, all the trust and the love and now it looked like a dusty old picture. A nice memory from many, many years ago. He groaned into his pillow and then checked the time on his phone. 1 am still a bit early and the usual time he and Kurt decided to go to sleep while texting for two hours. Maybe he had luck, maybe he was still awake – it was Thursday and tomorrow was school but still. He wanted to spend the weekend with Kurt.

 

**Blaine 1:02am:**

 

_Are u still awake?_

 

And the answer came after some seconds and it was relief he felt but also insecurity.

 

**Kurt 1:02am:**

 

_I can't fall asleep without your good night text._

 

Blaine couldn't stop the corners of his mouth and smiled.

 

**Blaine 1:03am:**

 

_Me too. And... I want to apologize. :(_

 

**Kurt 1:03am:**

 

_Apologize?_

 

Blaine sighed and it felt wrong to do it that way.

 

**Blaine 1:04am:**

 

_Can we meet? I'll come to ur place._

 

**Kurt 1:04am:**

 

_Of course, I'll wait outside._

 

Blaine jumped off his bed, standing there in his boxers and a t-shirt and put some pants on and left his room quietly. He never did such a thing like sneaking out in the middle of the night and he really didn't know what his parents would say about that but he couldn't care less because this was about Kurt and he loved Kurt and wanted to be with him for a long time. Preferably forever. Outside he walked to his car – which he got from his parents at the first day of school – climbed inside and drove to Kurt's house which was just a 15 minutes trip. Only meters before he arrived there he saw Kurt standing outside, leaning against the front door and smiling so beautifully when he saw Blaine and Blaine almost forgot to stop his car because this boy always made him forget everything around him. Eventually he stopped the car, turned the engine off and climbed out of it walking to Kurt who was also moving and they met in the middle wrapping their arms around the other. Kurt could hug him a thousand times and it would never feel different. It would always be this warm, safe and oh so loved feeling. When he was here, right in Kurt's arms there was no need to keep his walls up, no need to run. This was what Blaine considered as feeling home. No house, no apartment but someone who made you feel that way.

“I'm sorry Kurt,” he mumbled against his neck and felt those familiar arms running his back up and down.

“For what?” Kurt asked with no annoyance, with no anger. There was just this pure warmth and a small smile. Blaine pulled back looking at his boyfriend and took one last deep breath as he took his hand and they walked to his car climbing inside on the backseat. He still held Kurt's hand, feeling the soft skin, the strength he emanated so easily and told him what his mother said while his boyfriend listened.

“And I couldn't wait until tomorrow because it scared me that... maybe I made you feel that way.”

But his boyfriend shook his head, eyes glistening and wow... okay that hurt. Those were tears, clearly tears and Blaine was unsure if they were there because he made Kurt feel that way or because of something else.

“You didn't hurt me.”

“But you look like... you're about to cry.”

Kurt raised his eyebrows, wiped his eyes and was surprised to feel and see a damp spot on his skin. Blaine moved closer stroking his cheek and again Kurt shook his head.

“That is because I had no idea how scared you are. Maybe I never truly realized how hard it was for you to come out and deal with homophobic people because I've never been really bullied that I'm scared to show who I am and who I am with.”

“You are popular and loved. Of course they won't hurt you,” said Blaine quietly and Kurt straightened himself, wrapping his arms around Blaine and pulling him against his body: “Maybe. But this doesn't mean anything, Blaine. I don't want you to feel scared or to hide how you feel. Thinking that you feel that way hurts me. Thinking that people made you feel like that hurts me because you are the loveliest person I know and so beautiful and amazing, I don't understand how anyone can't see it.”

Blaine was blushing and the shy part of him, like each compliment coming from his boyfriend woke the urge to hide himself. His body though moved closer as much as possible and he pressed his lips against Kurt's. His amazing boyfriend, his beautiful and smart boyfriend, how did he get so lucky?

“I don't want you to feel that way. Especially not when I'm with you no matter where we are,” Kurt whispered as they stopped kissing: “I want you to feel safe with me and do what you want to do and be who you are. Because I love you for this and I thought I couldn't make you feel it. Any of it.”

“I love you too,” he breathed heavily and there was this feeling, a growing feeling like he loved him even more than before. Oh yes, he loved him definitely more and hoped it would grow bigger and bigger each passing day. The thought that they could break up one day or just not be like this didn't even cross his mind.

“And you make me feel all of this. All. And I want this for you too, Kurt. I want you to feel safe with me too and know that I will defend you too.”

“I know,” he smiled and gave Blaine a brief kiss: “I know that you can do that. You do it already.”

They kissed again, sweet and deep letting their lips slide so easily together, letting their tongues slip inside the other mouth and when Blaine remembered how unsure he was about kissing someone he almost wanted to laugh about how worried he was. Right now he couldn't imagine to ever stop kissing his boyfriend, feeling his hands in his hair, on his neck, skin and wanting more and more. Eventually they broke apart, breathing a bit faster and waiting for their bodies to calmed down but Blaine couldn't stop the words falling out of his mouth: “I want to sleep with you... so bad.”

The respond was a whimper from Kurt, an actual whimper because Blaine said that and he kissed him again, not being able to help himself.

“Me too. Though... I know you won't be comfortable here.”

“Probably not,” Blaine answered and opened his eyes to see the beautiful smile.

“You know, I wanted to tell you this tomorrow to surprise you but my dad will be away over the weekend. So I have the house to myself.”

“Technically it is tomorrow,” Blaine chuckled.

“True. However, your parents are going to be crazy if they won't find you in your bed.”

“Probably, yes.”

They shifted so that Kurt wasn't laying half on his back and fight against their need to do more or go further but they couldn't keep their hands from each other. They both needed to hold some part of the other otherwise Blaine thought he would pass out because, wow. He read a lot about those special connections, about love and what it felt like or what it could do to you. It was just that actually feeling all this because all Kurt did is caring about Blaine, caring about his safety, happiness and that he was comfortable no matter what. So it was no surprise for him to wonder if he ever gave Kurt this back or at least something else that made him feel the same way he did. Kurt told him he was doing that by loving Kurt but for Blaine it was not enough. He wanted them to be equal all the time.

“You are doing it again,” Kurt chuckled.

“Huh? What?”

“Making this face like you try to come with something up and impress me.”

“Uh...” so Kurt could read his mind?

“Don't,” he whispered and nudged his nose against Blaine's: “Don't change for me. I want and love you just the way you are. If you want to change then do it because you want to, okay? Not because of me.”

Blaine smiled and nodded.

 

* * *

 

The next day he woke up to find a small note from his mother placed on the kitchen table and he blushed a deep red. _I didn't tell your dad, but I hope you had fun with your boyfriend ;)_. He groaned because when he came home his parents were still sleeping and he was just thinking how much luck he had. Well, no matter how hard he tried he couldn't fool the special senses of his mother. Blaine made himself breakfast just to take a shower after that. While doing all this he kept on thinking about Kurt's words and about what his mother said. Although this relationship stuff seemed to be easy and wonderful he never thought about how much responsibility there was. There were many things making a person happy, many things a partner could never give you. But by loving someone and being emotionally close to each other and a part of the reason why someone was happy meant to tell them if something was wrong. Not showing any affection at school happened to be a thing that made them both unhappy and unsure. While Blaine knew why he couldn't Kurt ended up blaming himself for Blaine's absence. His mother was right. He hurt himself and Kurt though he wanted to achieve the opposite. On his way to school he wasn't sure about the way he felt. This school used to bully him and make him feel like he was nothing but a small guy and loving things only nerds were allowed to like. Not to mention that they made him feel like being gay was a crime. During the two years he only watched Kurt from afar and dreaming what it would be like to have a boyfriend at this school was a nice dream. Dreams didn't hurt. But this was no dream and reality was just not fair. Not always. It was not fair that people wondered how it could be possible for him and Kurt to be together. It was not fair that he was judged for being gay while Kurt was accepted because he was popular. And it was not fair that people actually thought it was any of their business what happened between them. Blaine understood life and it's fairness a while ago but he also knew that the only one who had control over his life was he alone. All Blaine needed was to be brave and he wanted it to be. For himself and for Kurt. He climbed out of his car and walked inside the building straight to his locker. Of course there were still the looks, whispers but today they didn't bother him that much. Brave, he wanted to be brave and at some point it would be just a general thing like breathing or walking. He opened his locker pulled his books inside he didn't need now. Rachel passed him by with a huge smile like Mercedes and he gave just the same smile back until he saw two girls eying him and whispering quietly. Cheerios unable to ignore by their white and red uniform. For a second or two he stared back but then returned his attention to the inside of his locker. Whatever they said they didn't know him or how true Kurt and he were so it shouldn't matter right?

“Ignore them. They are just not over the fact that I'm gay,” he heard Kurt saying and looked to his right side, seeing his boyfriend leaning against the lockers with this beloved smile he only had for Blaine.

“Hey you.”

“Hey,” Blaine answered and closed his locker: “So are you telling me they asked you out?”

Which was kind of funny to imagine for Blaine. Not that he took any pleasure of other peoples pain but the girls could try as hard as they wanted to, he knew Kurt was 100% gay and 100% in love with him.

“Some tried, yes. But I thought they all knew I wasn't into girls.”

For some reason Blaine chuckled and leaned against the locker, smiling and letting his eyes move from Kurt's head down to his feet noticing how good he looked again. As perfect as Kurt was for him his love for fashion was almost as insane as Blaine's for books and movies. And then he ended up staring at his free hand hanging there next to his thigh.

“Excited for tomorrow?” asked Kurt and Blaine looked back to his eyes.

“Of course,” he almost blushed because tomorrow meant he would be alone with Kurt, like really alone: “Though... my mom figured out I left the house in the middle of the night.”

“Ouch. I'm sorry. I hope she wasn't the fangirl she likes to be.”

“You mean the creepy woman she likes to be.”

Of course Kurt would never say that about his mother but Blaine knew he thought the same. Counting the times Kurt had to face her crazy behavior he had the right to tell who she was and what she could do.

“Does that mean you can't tomorrow?”

His smile faded as the thought crossed Kurt's mind and Blaine found it so adorable he bit his lip to stop the chuckle and grin. Being alone was their ticket to just be and do what they wanted to and it was just like any other thing. You get one taste of something good you want it again and they both enjoyed this time alone. Not just because of the sex – despite the fact that they were horny teenagers – but because they were able to lay next to each other, naked or not, touch and kiss and just be. Eventually he couldn't bear it anymore and smiled, leaning his head against the cold metal.

“She would drive me to your place and make it happen anyway. You know she would.”

Kurt laughed and nodded because this was so easy to imagine. The bell reminded them that their classes were about to start and both looked up, then at each other and Kurt sighed like he didn't want to leave and yes, Blaine would rather skip his classes and start their weekend right now.

“Come on, you don't want to be late, right?”

Blaine shook his head like the good student he was although he still fought against the idea to just skip his classes. Yeah, he had a good taste of what it was like to be alone with his boyfriend and wanted it as many times as possible. Now was not the time for that but the time to be brave and he looked back down at Kurt's free hand and took it into his, ignoring his fast heart. Again this was just what he needed and wanted. Safety, home and Kurt's smile he got as reward was worth it. So worth it to push his fears aside. He ignored the gasps, the looks and only focused on how Kurt squeezed his hand, how warm it felt.

“You are amazing, Blaine Anderson,” he whispered as he leaned closer knowing not to push it any further and they both walked through the hallways, hand in hand.

 

 


	2. Jealous Part 1

 

Part 2. Jealous part 1

 

Blaine knew that it was hard to imagine that someone like him was sexually active. At least for people who weren't Kurt. But he was and he loved it to be honest. Which was even surprising for him. Before he and Kurt had their first time someone only needed to mention the word sex and Blaine was blushing deep red and when he could he always left. Being around people and talking about this was just embarrassing and made him feel funny. Therefore it was hard for him to imagine to have sex with someone. Jerking off while he was alone in his room and laying under the covers was fine, until he met Kurt.

 

After their first time they both were basically waiting for the moment to be alone and just get on it. Whenever they got this chance they both made sure to enjoy this as much as possible, to come as many times as possible and get to know the other as good as possible. Because those times were rare, really rare. With school and homework and their parents being around it was hard for them to get many of those chances. Well, for Blaine that was because he wasn't comfortable to have sex with his boyfriend while his dad, or Blaine's parents were in the same house. It wasn't really an issue for Kurt, no, because his boyfriend was just amazing and understanding but it was for Blaine. His stamina was great, just as Kurt's and though it should be a blessing for his young body it was frustrating. He wished he could just go for it though someone was around them because they made out for hours, hours without anyone coming to their rooms. Best opportunity to have sex but Blaine just couldn't. Whenever they got this close, kissing, touching, half naked he stopped when he heard steps, voices which didn't belong to him or Kurt. The last time he had sex with Kurt was a month ago, when Burt wasn't at home and now in mid October he was going crazy.

Oh and there was another thing which bothered him. Actually a guy named Scott. Scott was the new student, tall, good looking and a sense for fashion. Just like Kurt. Blaine saw him in his history class and the moment he laid eyes on him he knew this wasn't good. The girls liked him, the boys also because he was a good football player and this wasn't really bothering Blaine. More like that he got easily popular, easily found friends and Blaine could see it happening, he would hang out with Kurt and all the other popular kids. The worst thing was that this Scott guy was likeable and when Blaine heard him talking about fashion it was just like Kurt told those things.

 

Blaine was jealous. For no reason.

 

He had friends, good friends and if Kurt and Scott become friends he was allowed to be friends with him, right? Eventually, Blaine was Kurt's boyfriend which meant he would spend most of his time with Blaine. So, no need to worry, he told himself. No, no need to he was thinking way too ahead though nothing happened. He had to focus on other things. The Sex thing.

 

* * *

 

“We should go to Scandals,” Blaine said when Kurt parked his car at his house.

“Scandals? Like the gay bar?”

“Yes.”

Kurt looked at him for a very long time, no smile, no raised eyebrow just looking at him and saying: “You know we are underage?”

“I know but there are... fake ID cards. I'm sure Puck can help us.”

Knowing he won't change going to the same places over and over again and doing the same things over and over again he came up with this idea. Maybe, being around other people like them and do something Blaine usually would never do could help. At least he told this himself.

“Okay, I have to say I'm confused. Something happened?”

“Not really.”

“No bullies?”

“No.”

Kurt nodded, humming while he was thinking.

“It's just... something I want to try. Maybe it will help us.”

“Help us?” Kurt exclaimed and now he looked really surprised: “Fake ID cards and a night in a gay bar should help us by what?”

Before Blaine could say it, before he even opened his mouth he was blushing and fumbling with his fingers. The words his mother told him were echoing in his head. Tell Kurt whatever is bothering you. Be fair.

“Sex.”

“Sex?” his boyfriends eyes were wide, mouth hanging open and pure confusion on his face: “Okay. We should go inside and then you'll tell me what you are talking about.”

They both climbed out of the car, heading straight to the door and then to Kurt's room in the basement. His dad would be back later so he was safe to talk about this. They left their bags next to Kurt's bed and with a sigh his boyfriend sat down on it, waiting for Blaine to join him, his blue eyes constantly watching him, which made Blaine nervous. Though, this time was not the right time to be nervous.

“I'm horny, Kurt.”

“Huh? Like... right now?”

Oh god, no, he didn't mean it that way.

“No! Not now... I just whenever we make out I just want more.”

“Well, if not I would be worried,” Kurt smiled and Blaine blushed.

“But we never do more and it's my fault. Because I can't with other people in the same house or close to us.”

His boyfriend sighed, smiled sweetly and placed his hand over Blaine's, squeezing it lightly. Like always he gave him this understanding look, like he was able to read his mind and know what to say or do to make him feel safe and loved.

“I told you it's okay. This is still new to you.”

“It's not okay. Not for me,” he almost groaned: “I... I...” uh okay, now he felt like the shy boy he once was before Kurt walked into his life. Trust, he focused on the trust he had for Kurt and knew, whatever he'd say, his boyfriend will smile and understand and make him feel home like he always did.

“I like it when we have sex. Love it, actually,” he whispered and blushed.

And just like he knew it would happen his boyfriend smiled, leaned forward and kissed Blaine on the cheek, whispering: “It makes me happy that you feel so comfortable around me to say this out loud.”

“I do. I really do,” Blaine breathed, closing his eyes as their foreheads were leaning against the other.

“But why Scandals?”

“I want... to be more... adventurous? I don't know. I just want a change. One that will help me to... do something against this barricade.”

“Barricade, hm?” Kurt kissed him lovingly: “If you are sure we can do that. But only if you are sure.”

“I am,” Blaine answered followed by another kiss.

“Okay, I'll talk with Puck tomorrow. Also, we need to come up with an excuse because we'll both be away for a night.”

“Thank you,” Blaine kissed his cheek.

It was hard to focus on anything else when Kurt was this close and no one else was there. Blaine only closed his eyes, his mouth slightly open and took a shaking breath. God, this was torture. Being alone and so close made him so easily horny, so easily he wasn't even ashamed.

“Can we, talk about this later? I would... I really want to...”

Kurt hummed, smiled and kissed Blaine again, holding the kiss and grasping Blaine's thigh, pulling his leg over his lap so Blaine was straddling him.

“Of course, gorgeous.”

While their lips were still connected, kissing becoming deeper Blaine didn't want to wait any longer. Time was precious and Kurt knew this. With sure hands and practiced fingers he opened Kurt's belt and groaned, deep and low when his boyfriend did the same to him. His cock was hardening, fast just like Kurt's and as soon as his zipper was down Blaine gently pulled his boyfriend erection out, just like Kurt and both moaned into the kiss as Kurt wrapped his hand around them and began to stroke.

“Oh... oh fuck... hurry Kurt.”

“We have time,” his boyfriend whispered but for Blaine it felt like their time was running out. He leaned over to the nightstand, opening the drawer reaching for the lube. With shaking hand he poured some on their cocks, feeling a cold shower running through his body because it was cold, moaned _'fuck... oh shit'_ and stroked them faster. Blaine placed his hands behind Kurt's neck, steadying himself and beginning to move his hips. It's been so long and he felt this familiar and more than welcomed feeling growing. He was close, so close.

“I love you, god I love you so much,” he whimpered, feeling the smile of his boyfriend against his lips and then they both came. Licking his lips he waited until they both came down from their high, taking the tissues from the nightstand to clean them both up and meeting a blissful looking Kurt, when he looked back at his boyfriend.

“I love you. And,” his boyfriend giggled and Blaine had no idea what was so funny right now.

“What?”

“I was wondering if your mother left something of her craziness in your DNA. Well, she obviously did.”

This wasn't the time to think about his mother, or anyone so he almost whimpered and pressed his face against Kurt's neck: “Mood killer.”

 

* * *

 

This was a bad idea. A really bad idea. Terrible. Blaine was sitting in the passenger seat and staring out of the window to the gay bar _he_ wanted to go inside. Everything felt so wrong, his gelled hair, his glasses not on his nose – exchanged with lenses – and this fake ID card in his hands – just too look older. What was he thinking? This was a bar, a bar with gay guys young and old, drinking, dancing and probably more. Of course this was not the Babylon like in Queer As Folk and maybe his mind was just rushing over things, but still he was nervous as hell. And his boyfriend looking hot as fuck wasn't helping. Even he made Blaine nervous.

“We can go somewhere else, honey. We can just go to the hotel.”

“No... no. I have to at least try this.”

“Okay,” Kurt leaned over, kissing his temple: “I'm right next to you.”

Breathing in deeply he nodded and left the car. Still fumbling with ID card and being close to Kurt, the closer they got the more he felt his knees shaking.

“Do you think this will work?”

“I'm sure.”

“But what if not? They'll call our parents.”

“This won't happen.”

“And what if we meet some creepy guys? What if they kidnap us?”

“Blaine,” Kurt laughed and stopped, turning to face his boyfriend: “Don't worry, okay? If you want to go there, we'll go. If not we'll leave. I'm fine with both, okay?”

Not going and going back to his old habits or going and maybe get more of his relationship and create new opportunities? Nope, Blaine needed to try this out. He knew he needed to.

“No, I want to... but... if it's creepy we'll leave.”

“Okay,” his boyfriend smiled and kissed his cheek, taking his hand: “Come on. It will be fine.”

It actually worked out. The guy at the entrance didn't even pay much attention to their ID cards and as they walked inside Blaine could hear voices, music and smell a sweet scent. Probably some sweet alcohol? Holding Kurt's hand he followed him, eying the bar to his right side and watching some guys dance on the small dance-floor while others laughed, drank and, oh, some even kissed. He'd never seen two men kiss on the streets of Ohio. At least two men who weren't he and Kurt. He also saw a guy dressed as a woman and two guys wearing just some short pants. If he had any idea about how many people, so close to his hometown were gay would he feel better? Maybe but Blaine had to admit he liked to see it. Some kind of mini version of Babylon, but he didn't say this out loud. Still, he liked this place because here were people just like them and for some strange reason he felt good. Like, he and Kurt weren't the only gay people in this world – of course he knew that but seeing it was different.

“I see you like it?”

“Somehow yes,” Blaine answered and they stepped to the bar ordering something to drink without any alcohol.

“You can drink some alcohol if you want,” Kurt said as the waiter walked away.

“No. I don't want to be drunk.” Not that Blaine never had a drink but he just really didn't want to be drunk right now. He wanted to make this experience and be sober. Their drinks came and both turned around, a pop song playing in the background and watching the people dancing like nothing else mattered. There were two guys dancing like some idiots but having such a happy smile on their faces, then a girl probably with her friend dancing together and the other guys were close to someone, touching, kissing and – oh fuck – Blaine almost blushed. They were basically grinding against each other and he knew he would never, ever be able to do the same with Kurt with other people around. Though this looked so easy and no one, just no one minded and he wished he could have whatever they had too. More self confidence? Ignoring what other people thought or might think? Take the right he had as a human being which was to love his boyfriend like straight couples were allowed to do? He had no idea what it was but he hoped he could be so careless too and just be with Kurt.

“You are staring,” Kurt whispered into Blaine's ear and dragged him out of his thoughts.

“I was just... thinking.”

“About me?” he asked with a strange voice. No smile, no anger but something else which was new. Should he be worried? Did he do something wrong?

“You are always on my mind, Kurt.”

“Good,” oh, there it was again, his warm smile and this warm kiss: “Would you like to dance?”

“Uh... um... between-”

But Blaine was cut off as someone smirked at them. Someone he didn't expect to see her. Someone he wasn't really pleased about to see here. What the fuck was Scott doing here? While trying to make a straight face Kurt greeted Scott with a polite smile and Blaine didn't fucking like it.

“I see you two want some time between our kind, hm? Guess, Puck helped?” Scott asked and wiggled his eyebrows. Blaine almost frowned.

“So I guess you are one of us? I had no idea,” his boyfriend said ignoring the question.

“Yeah, I thought it was obvious but yeah. It's not easy to find a place here and just be.”

Kurt shrugged and Blaine watched him, how his eyes were moving up and down Scott's body and wow, okay, that was _not_ okay.

“Is that Armani?”

“It is! How did you know?” Scott was beaming, literally beaming at Kurt.

“Fashion is like my guilty pleasure.”

And then they just kept on talking about fashion. Blaine heard the words coat, shirt, jeans and some crazy names. Probably some fashion lines or whatever. It annoyed the fuck out of him so he turned around, rolling his eyes when Scott basically shrieked about something and Kurt laughed. Yeah, fucking great their night here. Really awesome. He knew it, he had a feeling that Scott was someone he should keep an eye on. Not that he thought he was gay because judging people before he knew them wasn't his style. But this time? Oh he was judging him, pretty hard. Scott had no right to look at his boyfriend with big eyes and a wide smile or make him laugh or anything that was Blaine's job to do. But he did. And his boyfriend literally fell for it, rambling about clothes like it was the greatest thing ever. Sure, for Kurt and Blaine loved to listen to him but it was just not his thing. He tried but he would never be able to tell what was Armani and what not. And Scott could and Kurt liked it judging by his smile and how easy they talked. It was frustrating and this was not the way he imagined their night to be. Huffing he looked at the waiter and ordered a cocktail. Kurt was fine with him drinking? Good, because he needed this, right now.

They talked for an hour – maybe more - and Blaine was nipping at his fourth cocktail, sweet, something that tasted like strawberry and stopped listening to them. Sure, Kurt was allowed to have friends. Of course but this guy was gay. Gay! And he knew so much about fashion it was like they both would never stop to talk. Fucking great!

“I'm going to dance!” Blaine said and turned around, not as steady as he wanted to be and swaying to the dance-floor, ignoring both of them. Let them be in their stupid fashion world, he didn't want that. He was here to make experience and get over himself and he would do this, right now. Could he even dance? Blaine stared at his moving feet. Okay probably he could and the song was also good to dance so whatever. He had seen enough people dance and it wasn't that hard, right? So he began, moving his body to the rhythm and sometimes brushing against other people who smiled at him, eyes moving up and down his body. Oh, did they think he was cute? At least someone was paying him attention. Ignoring his drunk mind he always smiled back at whoever smiling at him or watching him. He was here to have fun, and it were just looks so it was harmless. Eventually Kurt was busy anyway so who cares? He danced some more, smiling a bit as he got comfortable around the people and on of the guys, maybe barely eighteen signaled Blaine to come closer and dance with him. Well, when Kurt was allowed to have fun and talk about fashion with a guy, Blaine was also allowed to have fun and dance. With a guy.

“Look for someone else, okay?”

Uh? There was Kurt's voice and Kurt's hand around his wrist, pulling Blaine to him and, no! He wanted to dance.

“What are you doing, Blaine?” Kurt asked as his hands held Blaine's who didn't stop to dance.

“Danshing?”

“Are you drunk?”

“No. I know what I'm doing.”

A short laugh fell from his boyfriends pretty lips and Blaine was not sure if he understood what was so funny.

“I have no doubt about that. How many did you drink?”

Blaine hummed, closing his eyes and placing his hands on Kurt's waist, holding him closer as they began to dance together: “Four cocktails?”

“Four?” Kurt repeated and then leaned closer, steeling a kiss and humming when he tasted the strawberry. There was no help, Blaine groaned into the short contact of their lips but then reminded himself why he was even dancing. Scott, yes. Opening his eyes he looked back to the bar, seeing the other boy watching them and it was hard not to smirk. Yes, Kurt was his, forever and ever and no obessesed-with-fashion guy could have his boyfriend. Somewhere in the back of his head was a voice whispering that Kurt wouldn't leave him or do anything to hurt Blaine, yet, jealousy took the better of Blaine.

“Blaine?”

“Yes, love?”

“Oh my God! You are jealous!” whispered Kurt with wide eyes.

“I'm not,” he denied and heard this adorable giggle only his boyfriend could do: “Kiss me again.”

“No, not here. Not with you being drunk.”

“I'm not, Kurt.”

“Let's go, okay?”

“ _Kuuuuuurt_ ,” Blaine groaned as his boyfriend slowly left the dance-floor, taking his boyfriend with him.

“I'll give you a kiss when we'll be outside.”

But Blaine never got that kiss. As they went outside they walked straight to the car and as soon as he was sitting in the passenger seat Blaine fell asleep. Mind to drunk and eyes to heavy to keep himself awake. Well, sleeping wasn't that much fun when he had a stupid dream about stupid Scott, falling for his boyfriend and charming him with his knowledge about fashion. Stupid Scott being stupid tall and good looking and making Kurt smile. He woke up, groaning when he felt his head pounding and then noticing that he wasn't in his room, or Kurt's room. He looked around the white room, saw the lamp on the nightstand burning, figured he was in his pajamas and then heard a door going open and saw Kurt walking out of it. He was wearing pajamas too, holding a bottle of water in his hand and some pills. Ugh, okay?

“Head ache?” Kurt smiled and climbed into the huge bed with white sheets while Blaine slowly remembered where he was and why he was here. And then he blushed, pulling the blanket over his head and groaning.

“I'm sorry!”

“Hey, it's okay,” Kurt laughed and dragged the blanket off of Blaine's head: “Here take this, you'll feel better soon.”

Without saying something and feeling shame crawling through his body he took the water and the pills from Kurt. Nodding his thanks he put the pill into his mouth, opened the bottle and swallowed half of it down. His mouth was so dry it wasn't a good feeling. But not as worse as his head ache. They were silent, Kurt watching him and Blaine avoiding his eyes, chasing the memories of what had happened in that bar. The guys, Scott, cocktails and dancing. Oh, and jealousy. A lot of jealousy. It wasn't enough that he had to deal with homophobic idiots he also had to keep an eye on some gay guys flirting with his boyfriend. Great, really.

“Blaine,” Kurt spoke after a while and the curly haired boy hesitated to look at him but eventually did so. There was a small smirk on those beautiful lips and he just frowned. Why wasn't Kurt mad at him? Would he ever be? Because Blaine for himself thought what he did was pretty... bad and he never acted like he did some hours ago. Hours, right? It was still dark outside and he didn't feel like he slept a lot.

“Jealousy makes you pretty hot.”

“Ohmygod!” he groaned and pressed his hands on his face.

Kurt laughed again and ran soothing circles over Blaine's back: “But there is no reason to be jealous. Though... when I saw that guy wanting to dance with you I was pretty jealous myself.”

“You were?” quickly looking up he saw Kurt.. blushing? He was blushing!

“Of course. I saw them all staring at you and I understand why but... I won't share you.”

“Oh...” Blaine cleared his voice: “Yeah... well, I don't want to share you too. Especially not with Scott.”

“I'm sorry, though. I got a bit distracted because it's hard to find someone who understands fashion like I do.”

Yep, and Blaine didn't understand fashion. But for a second he wished he would, just to give Kurt everything he wished for.

“But this doesn't mean that I'll leave you or stop loving you.”

“I just... don't like the way he looked at you and how easy you two could talk.”

“That's jealously, Blaine. And it's nothing bad. Not as long as it's just healthy jealousy.”

Well, he wasn't sure about that because it made him feel like he turned into some insane person, which he totally wasn't.

“And us being jealous just shows that we mean a lot to each other. We have every right to be jealous.”

“I don't like that feeling though. But it's not like I can... control it. I just want and love you so much that it happens. And this Scott guy drives me nuts.”

Lips kissed his temple and Kurt snuggled closer, humming and calming Blaine so easily down with his voice.

“It's okay to feel that. As long as we won't hurt someone it's okay. But remember, I'll always come back to you, no matter how many Scott's cross my way.”

“And I'll always dance with you,” Blaine smiled and Kurt laughed. There was no reason to have any doubts or fears that Kurt would leave him. Blaine trusted Kurt just as much as he loved him but he wasn't trusting anybody else. Scott may be nice, now, but he could easily fool someone. Honestly? What did they know about him. Not much. And this wasn't even about Scott, it was about all the people who couldn't back off when they needed too.

“Okay honey. Now sleep some more and we'll talk tomorrow, okay?”

“But we wanted to... have sex.”

“When you'll feel better, okay?”

Sometimes it was really annoying how right Kurt was but this made Blaine love him just more and more.

 

* * *

 

“Oh fuck,” Kurt breathed when Blaine fell on his back and slowly pulled out of his ass, sweating, panting and kissing the soft skin of his boyfriend. It was almost 11am and they both came at least twice.

“I guess... I guess it worked,” Kurt said, voice rough and felt Blaine breathing against his the skin of his back.

“Worked?” was all Blaine could get out before his heavy eyes found the strength to open.

Wincing lightly he turned around, keeping Blaine close and pulling him down so he was on top of him, running his fingers through his damp curls.

“I've heard at least four people walking through the hallway while you fucked me.”

A small blush painted over Blaine's cheeks and he nuzzled against the sweaty neck of Kurt. Did it work? The small trip to the gay bar and him being jealous and a bit drunk? Maybe. Maybe it did but he isn't sure.

“I just wanted you so bad,” he breathed: “But we'll see if it worked, right?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

 

 


	3. Part 3. Jealous Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the very, very late update. But like some of you know I'm busy as hell and also writing other fics which were on my mind. I try to post more often bc I really, really love this fic and enjoy writing this version of the boys :) so I hope you enjoy this part!

 

Part 3. Jealous Part 2

 

If it were possible Blaine would have been burning right there where he stood. Arms crossed over his chest, back against the lockers and eyes burning in not a nice way. And Blaine wasn't even aware of how he looked like all day long. All he was focused on was this stupid Scott standing with these so called popular kids and laughing. Laughing with his Kurt, touching his shoulder and giving him those looks that Blaine wished he would set fire right at that spot. But magic wasn't real and it was impossible that this would happen, no matter how hard he wished. And Kurt? He laughed with him, carefree but still not laughing like Blaine knew it. From his heart and so hard that it reached the corners of his eyes so they almost closed. The only satisfaction he took from that picture.

“You look like you want to kill someone,” Rachel said and ugh, okay this was totally unnecessary. He wasn't in the mood to deal with Rachel Berry right now. But Rachel wasn't one of those people who would leave it that easily. She turned around staring at the same direction like Blaine and gave him a look like she tried to say 'told you so'.

“I knew this would happen. As soon as a gay popular guy appears he would leave you.”

“We are still boyfriends, Rachel.”

She opened her locker and pulled her books out of her bag and inside the locker: “Yeah, now. But soon he will see that we are just losers and damaging his popular status. And you will be heartbroken and miserable eating ice cream and watching all episodes of Dolton Abbey-”

“It's Downton Abbey-”

“And call me or Mercedes and cry for days.”

Blaine rolled his eyes pushing his glasses back up his nose and sighed with relief when Mercedes joined them and gave Rachel a disapproving look.

“Shut it, Berry. Kurt and Blaine are happy. You are just scared because he is so talented and you want him to leave the Glee club. Leave Blaine out of it and their relationship.”

Blaine mouthed a thank you as Mercedes grinned at him and opened her locker while Rachel slammed her shut and pressed her books against her chest, narrowing her eyes.

“You think I'm saying all of this because I'm afraid Kurt might be better than me? Oh no, you are wrong. Just look at them.”

And the three of them did that, watching Scott talking to Kurt with shining eyes and – woah okay no one should look at Kurt like that – and pulled his phone out handing it to Kurt. Blaine tried not to growl like a dog.

“First they are joking around, then they exchange numbers and joke some more. But then the joking will stop and they'll flirt and then both will get curious and you know what curiosity does to people.”

Mercedes raised one eyebrow staring at Rachel with more than just disbelief and shook her head eventually over the drama queen Rachel Berry. Though Blaine couldn't help himself and think how he wished Kurt wouldn't do that. He didn't want to see him texting Scott and the fuck he knew what they were texting about. Fashion, yeah but was there so much to talk about? Well, he wouldn't know because it was too boring for him but maybe this was the one thing he would lose Kurt with? Because they didn't have the same interests?

“You'll see that I'm right,” Rachel said, eyes big and piercing into their heads – or at least she tried to – and then turned on her heals and walked away: “See you guys tomorrow.”

“Don't listen to her. The boy loves you and you love him I can tell. She is just jealous and scared because Kurt is talented.”

Mercedes had a point. Kurt was really talented and Blaine would never forget the first time he sang and danced in Glee club. For him it was the most beautiful voice he'd ever heard and his body was flexible and also sinful – yeah because Blaine knew this body better than anyone – and he still wondered how Kurt could do all these things. Dancing like his hips were born for that, singing like an Angel gave him his voice, he was good in french, tutoring some students and then have all these good grades? Okay, Kurt wasn't that busy anymore – only following some 'responsibilities' he had because he was popular – but Blaine knew the things he did before they were together. Yes, Kurt was definitely talented in many ways and this was something Rachel Berry didn't like.

“And if you are worried tell him you don't like this Scott guy. Your eyes are too obvious Blainers,” she grinned and closed her locker.

“I know I have nothing to be worried about but I also know I've been dreaming about Kurt for two years and never thought we would end up together. But now we are and I want to be with him as long as possible.”

And the thought that he might lose him after just four months was terrible. They never really talked about what they want to do after school or where to go but Kurt told him he wanted Blaine to be there with him. Of course Blaine wanted the same but this school year just began and so much could happen. Something like Scott and he really had no idea how to deal with this but to trust Kurt.

“You can be such a silly boy though you are smart,” Mercedes almost laughed and Blaine looked at her with confusion.

“The boy is always keeping an eye on you. All the time. If you two weren't boyfriends I'd say it's creepy as hell.”

Blaine stared at her then back at Kurt and found his eyes. He was looking at Blaine over his shoulder and giving him a small smile, like he tried to say he was sorry for being there and not with him. The burden of the popular kids he thought.

“So, I call you later and we can talk about the Halloween party?”

“Yeah, sure,” Blaine said hugging her good bye and following his thoughts. Yes, their Glee club was planning a Halloween party and everyone was going crazy with planning and stuff. Costumes, drinks, he knew alcohol wasn't allowed but like this would stop some students not to bring alcohol with them. Each year this happened no matter to what big event took place at their school. Not that he really wanted to attend this party but Kurt would and it was Glee, his friends would be there too. Blaine only groaned and leaned his head back against the lockers.

Then there were steps, he heard Puck laughing and they walked pass him, leaving the school. Eyes moving to the direction they came from he saw his boyfriend walking towards him and for a moment he pushed his thoughts aside, smiling.

“See you tomorrow guys!” Kurt waved and wrapped his arms around Blaine's body when he stood right in front of him.

“Hey you,” he whispered and Blaine felt his lips stretching into this wide smile only meant for Kurt. His hands found their way to Kurt's arms.

“Hey,” he whispered back, welcoming the sweet kiss on his lips.

“Sorry that you had to wait. They wouldn't stop talking about the Halloween party and costumes.”

“It's fine,” Blaine mumbled, loosing himself in those green blue eyes and running his hands up and down Kurt's arms, hidden by his purple v-neck sweatshirt.

“Still sorry. Now, let's go to my place so I can make it up to you with something nice to eat?”

“And Downton Abbey?”

He saw the sparkle in Kurt's eyes, the one he had since they started to watch this TV show and Blaine had to admit Kurt was even worse into it than he was. Which was fun for him but also a huge relief. It worried him a lot that he always freaked out about series or books or movies more than Kurt did. But his boyfriend surprised him over and over again.

“This is not even an option, honey.”

Kurt pulled back and took Blaine's hand leaving the building and walking straight to the parking lot. As they stood at Kurt's car Blaine opened the door for him with a proud smile, making his boyfriend laugh and role his eyes but giving him a small peck anyway to express his thanks. Closing the door he walked around the car and before he opened the door his eyes found Scott, sitting in his own car and looking away when Blaine caught his eyes. And Blaine didn't like that.

 

* * *

 

“They can't do this to him, Blaine,” Kurt mumbled against Blaine's chest as they were curled up on the couch, watching the last minutes of the Downton Abbey episode they had missed.

“It's just unfair,” Kurt spoke on – about Mr Bates - and Blaine looked down, letting his fingers run through Kurt's hair while he listened to his boyfriend's rambling. All Blaine did is smiling and nodding to all the things his boyfriend said about Mr Bates and Anna.

“I hate this show.”

“No, you love it,” Blaine laughed and heard the door going open followed by Mr. Hummel's voice.

“Hey boys!”

“Hey!” they called back in unison and Kurt stood up but not leaving before he kissed Blaine on the cheek who followed him to welcome Kurt's father.

“How was work?” Kurt asked while Blaine shook Burt's hand.

“Long but okay. I've heard there is some Halloween party coming up?”

“Yeah, our Glee club organized one,” said Kurt and Blaine liked the sound of 'our Glee club': “But we aren't sure if we'll go there.”

“Isn't this something you have to attend? Since you are popular?”, Burt asked and laughed when Kurt whined.

“Daaad! I'm not that popular and I don't have to be there.”

Blaine chuckled when Burt went into the kitchen and heard Kurt groaning and though he couldn't see it he was sure he rolled his eyes. Still he was surprised about Kurt's words that they didn't have to go there because Blaine was sure they would because Kurt wanted to.

“Uh huh,” chuckled Burt and his eyes found Blaine's: “How are you doing, kid?”

“I'm doing fine.”

“Already knowing what you want to do after school?”

“Not yet. I'm still figuring it out,” and this was something making him uncomfortable. He liked to sing but he was not sure if he could deal with something like that. Performing in front of a thousand people. Glee Club was something else and since Kurt was with them he wasn't as scared as before. Usually, when they were performing, Blaine stopped thinking and focused on their songs and dancing and whenever they were done he began to shake and was happy to be backstage. Sometimes his shyness even annoyed him. Well, to be honest, it annoyed him a lot.

“Don't worry, you still have some time to think about it,” said Burt and drank a glass of water.

“We'll find something,” said Kurt and kissed Blaine's cheek, making him blush which made Kurt kiss his cheek once more. Usually Blaine was against this, sharing kisses, any kind of kisses in front of other people. This changed since their night at Scandals and he was glad that it changed. At least in front of their family and around their friends. School, though, this was still a different deal.

“We have to finish our homework,” said Blaine.

“Alright. We are in my room, Dad.”

Burt nodded slowly and placed the glass into the sink: “Don't forget that I'll leave soon. Date with Carole.”

“Oh! Right!” Kurt smiled and they went to Kurt's room, saying bye to Burt.

“Sounds like it's something serious between your Dad and Finn's Mom?” asked Blaine when they were inside Kurt's room, door closed.

“He'll propose to her tonight.”

His hazel eyes widened, followed by a huge grin on his face and Kurt nodded enthusiastically. Burt had been dating Carole for a while now and though it was strange for them both to imagine Finn being Kurt's stepbrother, in the end, they didn't mind. Only because they kept on talking about how there was only one school year left. Which led to think about College, think about their future, think about each other.

It was a scary and huge topic Blaine had been avoiding for a while and he didn't want to bring it up now. But when? It was already October and November was close so he swallowed his fear and asked: “Did you think about it? Your future?”

Kurt sat down on his bed taking his bag and pulling the books out – of course there was still homework that needed to be done – while Blaine spoke and raised his eyebrows, looking at his boyfriend.

“I did. I did it even before we were together but I thought I wait until we figured out what you want to do.”

So? He already knew what he wanted to do? There was a small pain in his heart knowing that Kurt already figured it out and didn't say anything. Though the reason why he said nothing was something Blaine understood. Kurt always thought about Blaine first and then usually reacted. But he really didn't want tat all the time. He wanted to know everything.

“And what's that?” he asked eventually and took his own bag, pulling his notes out before he sat down next to Kurt.

“I want to become a designer. I really enjoy creating clothes so I thought about going to New York or Chicago and study that.”

“Yeah, you are really good at that.”

“Right?” Kurt smiled and placed his bag back down on the floor: “Scott said that too. His older sister studied in Chicago and he said she loved it there.”

Scott, it was always Scott. Scott thinks this and Scott thinks that and oh, look, he is also gay. His smiled was gone and he made himself busy with his English book, pretending that he was looking for something.

“Well, that's good for you.”

Somehow their relationship reached this new point. Kurt was able to read Blaine sometimes but with each passing day he became better and better at it and so Blaine was not really surprised when Kurt took the book away from him.

“Hey,” he whispered and kissed Blaine: “We'll find something, don't worry. And if you want... I mean, we'll go to the same city.”

hearing that Blaine was a part of Kurt's plan and his future, still, calmed him down. But things could always change, always, and Scott was someone who could change anything between them. He had more in common with Kurt than Blaine. Especially this fashion thing was something he couldn't understand or like. He always made sure to look nice and clean but he didn't care what brand he wore or what it was made of.

“I really want to be with you for as long as possible,” was the only thing he could say. Otherwise he feared he would snap or say something bad about Scott.

“Me too. For a very long time honey.”

 

* * *

 

 

“I'm so done with this idiot!” groaned Blaine when he went into Mercedes room and fell on her bed, wincing when his glasses pressed against his face. He turned around on his back and Mercedes closed the door behind her.

“You mean Kurt?”

“No. I'm talking about Scott. It's all about Scott,” sitting up he watched Mercedes taking her laptop because they actually planned to go through the play list for the Halloween party but he was not in the mood for any kind of music. In the past days he had been watching Kurt and Scott, had been listening to their conversations and squeals about fashion. It was annoying, it was painful and it was nothing Blaine enjoyed. Especially not when he and Kurt were alone and Scott would just appear out of the blue.

“They just enjoy something together.”

“I don't like that. I can't... I'm not into fashion like they are and they are getting too close, Mercedes. Too close.”

His friend was focused on the display, picking songs out but listened and said: “They are friends, Blainers. Are you actually believing in Rachel's words?”

“No, of course not. But I just-”

“You are jealous.”

Blaine snapped his mouth shut and didn't nod. It was true, he was jealous and he didn't like that he was jealous. But he was also scared. The old feeling he had since they began to date never really left him. The thought of not being cool enough or in general not be enough for Kurt. Not the person he wanted and needed.

“I am. And I'm scared. He is my first boyfriend and I... it might be stupid but I only want him to be my boyfriend. I've been waiting for so long and now that I have him I just want to keep him.”

She nodded, placing her laptop aside and turned to face Blaine. She knew they wouldn't get anything done until they talked about this because she was the only person Blaine ever talked too beside his parents and Kurt.

“Couples break up, Blaine. I'm not saying you guys will but let him breath. Scott is a gay guy, loving clothes just like Kurt and you know we don't have many gay guys in our school. At least we don't know about that.”

“I know. I understand that but I'm still- this is all new to me.”

A sympathetic smile stretched over her lips and she squeezed his hand gently.

“I know it is. But I also know that you guys really, really love each other. And you trust Kurt, right?”

“I do. But I don't trust Scott.”

She laughed slightly and nodded: “Of course not. But trust Kurt. This won't be the last time this will happen and if he does something stupid, which I doubt, you'll know how much you mean to him.”

This was even more scary. Realizing that he maybe didn't mean so much to Kurt as he thought he did. That he was just a crush, a small love slowly fading away because there was someone else.

“If you want to be sure just tell Scott to back off.”

“What?”

This never crossed Blaine's mind because he was not such a person. He usually ignored idiots, got used to ignore all the people who hurt him and move on. Fighting or yelling was nothing he liked and didn't know if he even could.

“I know you are not like that but I think you should at least... try?”

“I can't... I don't... I'm not like that.”

“Of course not. I know that. But you are also not the Blaine you were before Kurt.”

Confusion was the only thing he was able to show on his face. He changed? Changed into someone else? Someone Mercedes didn't like anymore?

“You are happier and braver than before. Remember how you never went to any of our parties? Or how you usually avoided people in general? Since Kurt you don't do that anymore. You are doing much better.”

“Really?”

Mercedes nodded, a wide smile stretching over her lips and he almost blushed. This was good, right? It was a good thing that he could be more open, that people, his friends could see that he was happier. And it was true. Kurt made him happy. He made him feel like he was the happiest guy in the world. So he smiled and murmured a thank you before they went back to searching for some songs for the Halloween party.

 

* * *

 

The loud music, the bodies dancing some too close, some drunk, some more like trying to dance than actually dance were all reasons why he didn't like parties. There were always some drunk boys and girls, doing stupid things and he tried to avoid them. Then there were the popular kids, sitting together, celebrating together and then there was the rest, which included Blaine who stood far away from the drunk people and eyed all the different costumes. Some scary some silly some weren't dressed, like he and Kurt who was – like in the past days – laughing with Scott about something. And both were drunk, even Kurt, which was fair because Blaine had been drunk the last time they were out. It was not even that making him feel uneasy and angry.

Like usually it was Scott who made him feel all these things. The way he looked at Kurt, how he moved closer and closer and casually touched Kurt on his shoulder or arm. All these little things made Blaine go crazy, fill his body with so much jealousy and anger that he was not sure for how long he would stay still and do nothing. Say nothing. However, when Scott came to close and Kurt pushed him away, all the easiness and happiness gone from his face Blaine thought it was enough. Just enough.

Luckily before he could do anything stupid Kurt was already walking to him, clearly not with sober legs but at least he wasn't slurring when he said into Blaine's ear: “Let's leave this place baby. I want to be alone with you.”

Blaine couldn't agree more so he took Kurt's hand and left the hall. But he had a feeling, when his and Scott's eyes met that this was not over yet. Not at all. This challenging look meant something and Blaine was not sure what it meant. Well, nothing good, that was for sure.


	4. E-Mail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! No, I did not forget this fic :) I was focused on my other fic Two Coins, which is finally finsihed. This fic and 'Keeping Warm' are small projects from me :) But I do enjoy them a lot! So here we are, back to follow our boys through their last school year. Let me know what u think! And, yes, I left a bad cliffhanger.

 

Part 4. E-Mail

 

“OH MY GOD!” exclaimed Blaine when he was sitting at his laptop and reading the news about Doctor Who.

“What happened?” asked Kurt who was sitting on Blaine's bed and stretched his neck, trying to see something.

“There is a Doctor Who special coming!”

He rolled to the side, let Kurt see what he saw but then remembered that Kurt had no idea about Doctor Who. Well, not really but he knew the name and that he was traveling through time. They didn't find the time to watch an episode yet. Not with school and homework.

“I want to go there. They'll show it in the theaters in two weeks.”

“Sounds like this Doctor Who is a big deal,” smiled Kurt and pressed a kiss on Blaine's cheek who didn't stop smirking.

“It is! So many people love this series and, well, it's kind of crazy but it's awesome.”

“I see how excited you are so I have no doubt about that,” said Kurt and climbed back on the bed, taking his math book and finishing his homework. Blaine was still bouncing on his chair, clearly excited about that and of course he would go to the theater and watch it. No doubt.

“Would you come with me?” asked Blaine when Kurt closed his book and leaned back against the headboard.

“Watching Doctor Who? I don't know. I doubt I'll catch up on everything within two weeks.”

Blaine tried to hide his disappointment. His boyfriend was right about that fact but this was something that made him really happy and he thought, that, Kurt would go with him because it would make him happy.

“Yeah, you are right,” he said and closed his laptop and climbed on the bed, sitting next to Kurt. He really wanted to share this with his boyfriend and let him be a part of everything he liked. Just like he wanted to be a part of Kurt's hobbies. He even tried to read those fashion magazines but they were boring. He couldn't even tell the difference between all the tops he had seen while Kurt knew everything, or so it seemed.

“You could take Mercedes with you.”

“My friends don't watch Doctor Who. I'll just go by myself,” he said and for a moment he felt like the time before he and Kurt got together. When it was just him and his room and all his favorite books, movies and series. When it was just him and his own little world. He didn't like that feeling. But he also couldn't force Kurt to come with him and watch something he was not interested in. and he felt like a little brat for being so angry about that. It was normal that he liked stuff and other people did not. Just like Kurt and his interest in fashion.

“I think that is a good idea, you know?”

“Me being alone?” asked Blaine and regretted saying that because he didn't mean it like that.

“No, honey. Of course not,” said Kurt, alert written all over his face.

“Shit, sorry. I didn't mean it like that,” said Blaine and rubbed his forehead but only calmed down when he felt Kurt's hand on his back.

“I will never leave you alone, Blaine. And if you feel lonely you just call me. Like I'd call you. But, what I meant was, that I think it's important to have something for ourselves. Like I'm totally into fashion and you are not, which is fine. I have something I can enjoy when I can't enjoy you. And just like you have some of your series you can enjoy when I'm not around.”

He actually snorted about the 'when I can't enjoy you' part and this made Kurt smile.

“It's important that we can do things alone. Then we have some room to breath and not get on each others nerves.”

“You'll never do that, Kurt. But I understand what you mean.”

“Good. If not I'll buy you the tickets, just so you know. And then you'll come back to me and let me see how happy you are.”

 

* * *

 

A day before Doctor Who special he felt better, excited to go there and just have something for himself. Maybe it was really something they needed since he and Kurt literally spent every free moment together. He knew that, at some point, spending too much time with someone could become unhealthy but he always felt like he couldn't get enough of Kurt. And he always felt the same coming from his boyfriend.

Yet, this little break was probably a good idea. Because not seeing Kurt meant missing him and be even more happy to see him again. That's why he was in a good mood as he walked out of class to have lunch together with Kurt. Only, what he saw didn't make him happy.

There was Kurt with Mercedes and Scott stood next to him, looking like he was sorry. Kurt was simply listening and Mercedes looked like she wanted to jump on Scott. That's why he felt alarmed and walked quickly over to them, almost walking into a football player who held a tray with too much food.

“I'm really sorry,” said Scott.

“We all make mistakes. It's okay,” said Kurt, a small smile on his lips and an even wider smile when he saw Blaine. Scott noticed the change in Kurt's eyes and looked to his right side, noticing Blaine as well.

“We can talk later, okay?”

“Alright,” said Scott and left them alone. Blaine watched him leave and sat down next to Kurt, giving him a questioning look before he saw Mercedes face. She was annoyed and this meant something was not okay.

“What was that?” asked Blaine eventually.

“He just apologized for his behavior.”

Blaine nodded, remembering that evening way too well but Kurt's explanation didn't calm him down because he noticed Mercedes alarmed expression and was not sure what this exactly meant. He wanted to ask but he had a feeling like he shouldn't do that with Kurt around. It was the first time he felt like he couldn't speak freely around him and he really didn't like that.

“Excited about tomorrow?” asked Kurt.

“Uh, yeah. Can't wait,” said Blaine, tried to smile but smiled when he felt Kurt's lips against his cheek.

They ate lunch together, talked about the upcoming history exam and then, when he and Mercedes were finally alone – because they had English together – he asked.

“You looked like you wanted to kill Scott.”

“Don't even start with him. He is such an asshole.”

Blaine felt alarmed, confused because he doubted that Kurt would hang out with an asshole. Even Puck, who Blaine always considered as an asshole, was not one. No one of Kurt's friends really was an asshole, at least not the people he got to meet and even talked to from time to time. Kurt was famous so it was not really rare to get involved with all these other famous kids.

Luckily they stopped asking him out if he and Kurt really were a thing and all those who didn't approve got ignored by Kurt. Which made Blaine love him even more though he felt bad at beginning.

“He came over to me before Kurt was even there and was pretty rude to me. But when Kurt came he was this super sweet guy, apologizing for whatever.”  
“Did you tell Kurt that?” asked Blaine when they sat down waiting for the teacher.

“Of course not. I don't know this guy but maybe he just doesn't like me. I really don't want to spread any rumors.”

Blaine remembered the look Scott gave him when he and Kurt left the Halloween party. The challenging look from someone who had no good intentions. But he was nice to Kurt, he was even nice to Kurt's friends and maybe he just wanted to be with the popular kids. He and Mercedes were not popular. It was the most logical answer he could come up with. Yeah, maybe he was interested in Kurt but Blaine knew he had no chance. No one had a chance to come between them.

Not after everything they did for each other.

“He probably just hates us because we are not popular.”

“Oh, great. Another bully,” groaned Mercedes.

“Don't worry. They'll get to know his real face. I'm sure of it.”

He was sure that Kurt would figure it out and that he would never be friends with someone who treated Blaine, or his friends, like they were nothing. Yes, his boyfriend was popular, many of the kids tried to be friends with him. But there was a difference between being friends and being friendly. Kurt was friendly and careful with the label friends. When they began to date and he met Puck he was almost sure that they only were friends because they were both popular. Puck proved him wrong and he was the most supportive when it came to their relationship.

Any of his friends who was against them got ignored by Kurt and Puck. They were friends, to any other person Kurt was friendly and there was the problem. Even if someone was an asshole Kurt would not immediately snap at them. He would wait and see and the time between those points, well, Blaine hoped Kurt would see what a jerk Scott was soon enough.

 

After school, homework done and dinner eaten he fell on Kurt's bed, sighing because it was finally Friday evening and he wouldn't have to study the next day. Nope. The next day was Doctor Who day and he really couldn't wait to fall asleep and wake up to get ready. They watched something on TV, both not really knowing what it was. It just played in the background while they cuddled. And while cuddling he took his glasses off because Kurt was close enough so he could see him.

“What are you going to do tomorrow?” Blaine asked while his fingers fumbled with the buttons on Kurt's shirt.

“I'm helping my dad and then I wanted to work on my portfolio for College.”

College, right. Blaine still wasn't sure what he wanted to do or to become. He mastered in avoiding this topic even in his mind. It was too much pressure for him and even a bit scary to imagine that his high school time was almost over and they would just... go somewhere else and so something they love. It was scary to know that Kurt would go to Chicago or New York and he had no idea what he wanted. Well, he wanted to be with Kurt, that he knew.

“I... still don't know what I want to do. But I want to go where you are.”

“What about music? Aren't you interested in that?”

“I am but... I don't want to become famous or something. I just like to play for myself or for people I love.”

“Too bad. Because you have an amazing voice,” smiled his boyfriend and pressed a short kiss on Blaine's lips and blushed slightly.

“I think about it over Christmas, I guess. Exams are close and we'll be busy with that. But I really want to go where you go.”

“And I want you with me,” whispered Kurt and kissed Blaine again, deeper and longer. Slowly Blaine rolled on his back, eyes making sure the door was locked and only then he let the small moan out when he felt Kurt's lips against his neck. The last time they had sex was after the Halloween party, so, three weeks since that night and Blaine wondered how they were able to resist. Well, school kept them both busy and their family too. Especially since Burt and Carole got engaged things were crazy. But he was excited to attend this wedding together with Kurt and slow dance with him.

His track of thoughts stopped when he felt Kurt's hand at his pants, how they easily opened them and pulled the zipper down.

“I want us both naked,” whispered Blaine and saw his boyfriend nodding, smiling when he pressed a short kiss on Blaine's lips. Their clothes were soon off, forgotten on the chair next to the bed. He knew Burt wouldn't be back for another hour so there was not much time but enough so the wouldn't be in a haste to get dressed again.

Back on his back he sighed when Kurt's lips were on his collarbone, sucking gently and opening the drawer of the nightstand, reaching for the lube and condom. He liked to feel Kurt or Kurt feel him but it was always such a mess and they had not enough time to clean up. Letting both items fall next to him he gasped when Kurt kissed his belly, under his navel and licked the head of his hard cock. Red and covered in pre-come already.

Then, and he had no idea when Kurt took the lube, he felt his slick fingers against his hole, holding his breath when one slipped inside but moaning when his lips wrapped around the head of his cock and sunk down, swallowing his entire length.

“Oh fuck!”

He began to whimper, moving his hips slowly with Kurt's movements, unsure if he wanted more of his mouth or more of his fingers stretching him. Then he felt his rising orgasm because it's been so damn long since they did that and decided he wanted more of Kurt's fingers.

“Kurt, k... kiss me,” and the beloved lips where back on his, kissing him deep and Kurt's tongue licking inside his mouth. Both were breathing faster, making all these sweet noises and free hands exploring the skin of the other, the defined muscles and driving Blaine crazy. Sometimes he caught himself thinking about the time when he was a virgin. When it was so hard to imagine being able to do this. Now he couldn't get enough and never wanted to stop doing this with Kurt.

“I'm ready,” he breathed and his boyfriend pulled back, smiling with love in his eyes and rolled the condom down on his long, hard cock. Wiping the sweat off his forehead he watched Kurt coating his hard member with lube, shuffling closer and letting Blaine's tight rest on his. Biting his lips he waited to feel it, how Kurt slowly sunk inside him and when he did his eyes rolled back, enjoying the stretch and the burn. It didn't hurt anymore, he actually loved the feeling of being filled.

“God, honey, you always feel so good,” moaned Kurt, bending down and kissing Blaine again as he was fully inside. They waited for some seconds and then Blaine nodded and Kurt began to move. Slowly, letting Blaine feel him and with that his moans became loader, more wanton and only when he wrapped his legs around Kurt he began to move faster, hips and balls smacking against Blaine's skin.

He loved it and he didn't even feel any shame that he loved this. How Kurt's long cock pushed inside him, stretching him more and more and hitting this sweet spot that made him see stars and moan that his whole body was shaking. He loved how Kurt went from slow thrusts to hard fucking and covered his lips and skin with endless kisses. And all of this made him come hard.

Throwing his head back he moaned, fingers digging into Kurt's back and his hole clenching around the cock, feeling how his boyfriend also came.

He gasped for air when Kurt's body fell on his, sweaty, breathing just as fast as Blaine did and both needed a minute or two to come down from their high.

Slowly, with a groan, Kurt slipped out of Blaine, rolling the condom off and making a knot with his shaking fingers, before he threw it into the small trash can next to the bed. Then his lips were kissing Blaine's cheek, playfully and happy making the smaller boy giggle.

“Shower? And then some cuddling before you have to go?”

Blaine nodded and kissed him sweetly.

 

* * *

 

 

The Doctor Who special was incredible and Blaine was on such a high that he couldn't stop smirking through the whole drive back home. Kurt was right, it was a good idea to do this on his own and give them both some space. Not because they needed it but because Blaine could fully enjoy this without feeling bad that someone might not understand him.

Right after the movie he texted Kurt and didn't even hide his excitement and how much fun he had. He even managed to talk with other people and it was fun to do that. To talk to people about things he loved and knew like he did. It was fun to talk about their favorite doctor or favorite episode and he couldn't get enough of that. Right before the movie and after it he spent some time with those people who were older than he was, sadly not from his school.

But he felt pretty proud that he managed to do that. Yes, Mercedes was right. He had changed into better because back in April he had not been able to do that. Back home he greeted his mother and father and told them about the last hours, enjoying how happy they were to see him happy.

Yes, things were definitely better since he met Kurt. He took a shower and went straight to bed, wishing Kurt a good night through a text and getting the same in return.

 

The next day he stood up a bit later than usually and began to study for his math. It was not really that hard for him because he was actually good in math. Later he met Mercedes to study for their English exam. It was also not that hard for him because he was swallowing books and characterizations but Mercedes did not. So he helped her and around dinner time Kurt came over because Blaine's mother invited him.

They talked about the wedding and Kurt and his mother were lost in a conversation about suits and ties and bow ties.

“I think you should wear matching ties or bow ties. I bet you'll look amazing together in suits.”

Blaine looked a bit lost because he never attended a wedding or had any idea what happened between saying 'yes' and becoming wife and husband.

“I've already found some suits for us and I'm sure he'll look amazing,” said Kurt and squeezed Blaine's hand under the table. Well, he was no pro about that but he trusted Kurt and smiled back. There was no doubt in his mind that his boyfriend would only chose the best for him.

After dinner Kurt had to go back home, his homework for French was still waiting for him and though Blaine didn't want him to leave just yet – like always – he let him go. But not without kissing him good bye, a little longer then necessary.

“It's good to see you so happy. Even without me,” said Kurt and Blaine pouted playfully.  
“I'm the happiest with you, you know that.”

“I know,” he smiled and shoved Blaine's glasses, gently, back up his nose and kissed him again: “So am I. But I really need to go now. Thanks for the lovely evening.”

“Thank you for being here. I love you.”

“Love you too. See you tomorrow.” whispered Kurt, gave Blaine one last kiss and went back to his car.

Blaine waited until he couldn't see Kurt's car anymore and went back inside. He took a quick shower, brushed his teeth and wished his parents good night. Inside his room he opened his laptop to send Mercedes the characterizations they worked out when she visited him and noticed that he got a mail from... Scott? And there was a picture attached to the mail. He wondered who gave him his e-mail and why would he feel the need to write him anyway? Shaking his head he focused on the e-mail for Mercedes, sent it and then stared at the mail from Scott.

He clicked on it and read the small message 'You'll like this ;)' and he raised an eyebrows. What would Kurt like? Maybe this was some fashion thing? Maybe this e-mail was not even meant for him to be read and Scott wrote it to the wrong person?

But curiosity got the better of him and Blaine opened the picture and what he saw made his heart stop. His breathing stopped, his blood turned cold and he was sure his skin just turned white as well. His eyes saw something his mind didn't fully register yet. But his soul and heart did and it hurt. It hurt to see a selfie of Kurt and Scott kissing.

 

 

 

 


	5. Liar

 

Part 5. Liar

 

Blaine hated nightmares and never did he imagine himself to wish for one. But after seeing the picture of Kurt and Scott kissing he wished it had been a nightmare. A terrible nightmare and he would wake up and find that this e-mail never existed. He had no idea how he fell asleep, or how he did not start to cry after seeing this. But when he woke up, ready for school and checking his e-mail – to see if Mercedes answered him – he found the mail again. And saw the picture again.

There was no mistake. That was Kurt, his boyfriend kissing someone else without even looking like he was forced to. It looked more like he actually enjoyed kissing him. And so did Scott. And Blaine's heart was still beating, beating in a rhythm he was not sure to consider healthy. Like it was on the verge of breaking into a million pieces. He never experienced this, he had no idea what to do. But he just wanted to crawl back under the safe sheets of his bed and never face the sunlight again.

Never face Kurt again and only find out that he was playing with him.

That he liked Scott more than he liked Blaine. That everything had been a lie. Everything he said to Blaine and promised. Just everything.

And he was the fool, believing it all. Believing that they would leave Lima together and go somewhere else to live together and start their life together as college students. That, when he said he loved Blaine that he meant it. Honest, with an open heart and knew what he was doing to him. What it meant for Blaine to love someone and be so open to a person.

Now he felt like he was walking on ice, waiting for it to break under his feet and he would fall. Fall deep and crash on the dark cold ground, listening to the pieces of his breaking heart falling too.

Somehow he arrived at school, somehow he walked inside the building, and, somehow, he was able to ignore the eyes watching him walking inside. Because usually it was him and Kurt entering the school together. Usually it was them being happy and in love and making other people gag because they were too adorable.

But this time, when he entered the hallways it felt like it used to feel, before he and Kurt became a couple. No, it was even worse. Back then his heart and soul weren't bleeding and desperately holding together what was left. Back then his heart was not open and in love with someone he knew, he would never get.

Opening his locker he was faced with stuff from Kurt. Small things he used to give Blaine. A drawing of Sirius Black in a suit he made once for Blaine. A small silver violin pendant. A selfie of him and Blaine at the Lima Bean. There were so many little things, so many memories that he couldn't hold it back anymore. He pressed his fingers against his eyes, behind his glasses and tried to stop the tears, tried not to show them how he felt and give them a reason to laugh about him.

Maybe they knew it? Maybe they all knew that Kurt had been playing with him? Okay, maybe not playing but maybe cheating?

God, Kurt was cheating on him!

“Blaine,” he heard Mercedes saying but only looked at her when he felt her hand on his shoulder. Then his body was shaking and he couldn't hold it back anymore. This was no nightmare, this was real and he felt horrible.

Mercedes wrapped her arms around him, saying soothing words but it didn't help. It felt like nothing could help him, like... he would never feel okay again.

He just cried in her arms, grateful that she didn't ask anything and when the first bell rang he remembered himself that he had exams to focus on. Today was his math exam and he needed to focus on that. For some reason, the prospect of having something to focus on, even if it was math, was like a small escape from his thoughts.

“Are you sure?” she asked when he wiped the tears away, breathing in and out to calm down.

“Yeah. I... we talk later.”

“Do you want me to tell Kurt-”

“No. Please. Don't talk to him.”

He couldn't even say his name because it would hurt him more, maybe even break his heart, him while he tried to hold himself together.   
“We can... skip history class, okay?”

“I'll be waiting in the choir room.”

 

During his exam he managed to focus on that but he was done with it way too soon. So he went over it again, checking if he got everything right and then handed the test to his teacher, leaving the room and going straight to the choir room. He was not ready to face his history class because that was the time when he, Kurt and Scott had a class together. He was not ready to see what he had already seen. Or hear what his mind came up with.

That his boyfriend was cheating on him for someone who was popular, who loved fashion just like his boyfriend did. No, not boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend, right? The thought alone brought the tears back and he needed to take a hold of the door to the choir room so he wouldn't fall to the ground and become a sobbing mess.

Letting his bag slide off his shoulder he slumped down on a chair, waiting for Mercedes to come and spare him from his own thoughts. But it was too soon for her to join him. At least 30 minutes too early before the bell would ring. And he had no idea how to keep his mind occupied with other things. Whenever he closed his eyes he saw the picture of Kurt and Scott kissing. Where he had no idea but he wondered when that happened. It was not a dark picture, it was clear, taking by daylight and maybe even at school? No. Kurt was almost always with him during their breaks.

But when then? They spent almost every free moment together and if not Kurt usually stayed at home and if something went down between him and Scott, he was sure some of the other popular kids would have talked about that by now. Laughed at him for being so naïve.

What if Kurt had been playing with him all along? Though his heart screamed no he wondered what if yes? Why would popular Kurt Hummel suddenly find an interest in Blaine Anderson who considered books as his friends. Why would someone as good looking and good in anything he did want to be together with a boy, who couldn't stop stuttering when he was nervous? Who was part of the Glee Club for God's sake. What if this was one of those games these popular kids played? And winning Blaine's heart was the goal?

“Fuck,” he groaned and buried his face into his hands. Then he felt his phone buzzing and only thought about that he needed a distraction. Not even considering that someone else but Mercedes could text him.

He found five texts from Kurt.

 

_Kurt 6:45am:_

_Morning, love! Xoxoxo_

 

_Kurt 7:07am:_

_I hope you didn't oversleep. Be there in 10 minutes!_

 

_Kurt 7:20am:_

_Are you already at school?_

 

_Kurt 7:55am:_

_I can find u :( wish you luck at your math exam! Xoxoxo_

 

_Kurt 9:13am:_

_Are u okay? Something happened? I'm worried..._

 

Liar, he thought. Liar, liar, liar! While Blaine tried to deal with his heart, which Kurt played for who knew how long, he even acted like nothing happened. Like nothing at all. But he had this picture, he saw the kiss. He turned his phone off, shoved it back into his pocket and sighed when the bell rang and Mercedes finally appeared at the door to the choir room. And Rachel Berry right behind her.

The first thought that crossed his mind was, that Rachel had been right and she was never right.

All she was focused on was herself so he never paid much attention to what she was saying. But this time he couldn't stop thinking that she had been right.

 

“ _I knew this would happen. As soon as a gay popular guy appears he would leave you.”_

“ _We are still boyfriends, Rachel.”_

“ _You think I'm saying all of this because I'm afraid Kurt might be better than me? Oh no, you are wrong. Just look at them.”_

 

“ _First they are joking around, then they exchange numbers and joke some more. But then the joking will stop and they'll flirt and then both will get curious and you know what curiosity does to people.”_

 

Had Kurt really been curious? Curious about a guy who treated Mercedes so badly and didn't know what personal space meant? Just because he was gay and loved fashion? Blaine refused to believe in that, refused to think that Kurt was such a person. Because all he knew about him was, that he did everything for him, that he loved Blaine and gave him so many beautiful things. But this picture... this picture...

“Blaine, what happened? Are your parents okay?” asked Mercedes and even she thought it was anything but Kurt hurting him. She, who believed in their love and supported Blaine all the time. She was just as sure about Kurt's love for him than he was.

“I... Rachel was right.”

He could see the small spark in her eyes because Rachel loved to be right but when he pulled his phone out and showed Mercedes what he meant his friend gasped. Rachel made a strange sound and then anger was written all over her face, ready to go out and call Kurt out but she stopped when Blaine began to sob again.

“Oh God, sweetie. That's... terrible.” said Mercedes, sitting down next to him and wrapping an arm around his shoulder. He leaned against her, his body too heavy for him alone. All of this was still so unreal for him and he couldn't even look at the picture for a third time. Seeing this... no, he couldn't.

“How did you get that though? Did Kurt?” asked Rachel and he could hear that she was worried.

“No.” he sniffed and rubbed his nose, taking his glasses off to wipe his eyes dry. “Scott send me the picture. Totally something he would do. Well... I guess it's better because who knows for how long... Kurt... is cheating on me.”

Mercedes said nothing, clearly having her own doubts about how true all of this is, or, just not wanting to believe in it. Rachel though, she swallowed it all and began to tell Blaine what to do.

“You need to call him out. He can't treat you like that. I told you he just plays with you.”

“Rachel, shut up,” hissed Mercedes. “It's already hard enough for Blaine. And, did you talk with Kurt about that?”

Blaine shook his head, holding his glasses in one hand while the other tried to stop the tears spilling out of his eyes: “Why should I? This picture tells everything. He was probably just playing with me. I mean... look at me. Look at me and tell me someone like Kurt would seriously consider me as his boyfriend?”

They were silent for several seconds before Mercedes spoke, probably still in deny just like Blaine had been some hours ago.

“I doubt that. I'm sure he loved you.”

Loved, yes... not love but loved, past tense.

 

* * *

 

Somehow he managed to avoid Kurt during the day and the next day. He made himself busy with studying, using this as an excuse when his parents asked if Kurt would come over. He managed to avoid him for almost the entire week and then Friday came and Blaine didn't get so lucky. He was standing at his locker, shoving the books inside and those he needed out in such a haste that he dropped them. Cursing he picked them up and noticed a familiar hand holding his English book, hearing a familiar voice he had missed though it hurt to hear it.

“I thought I miss you again.”

Blaine said nothing, didn't even look at Kurt and made himself busy with shoving his books into his bag.

“Blaine, what's wrong? Did I do something?”

He heard the worry in Kurt's voice, heard that he was honest and maybe, just maybe, he was such a good actor that people fell for him. Just like Blaine did. The sadness and pain he had felt for the past four days turned into something else. Something he felt before but never as strong like at that moment. He looked to his right side, straight into Kurt's eyes and noticed how he stopped breathing when he noticed Blaine's red eyes. Puffy and red from all the crying he was so tired of.

“Blaine did you-”

“It's over. Okay? It's over and you should know it.”

“Over?” asked Kurt and he wanted to laugh about that. Did Kurt really think he was such a naïve, so in love, boy? So desperate to have someone no matter who it was because he would never have a chance at any other boy? Because he was a nerd? Because he wore those huge glasses and always put books and TV shows over people? No, Blaine needed no one.

“Yes,” he breathed and ripped the stuff from his locker. The small silver violin, the picture of them, the drawing, everything that was connected to Kurt and let it fall to the floor. There was a lot Kurt had shown him in the past months. Things he never doubted were fake. Love, fun, safety, support. But he never had seen Kurt so shocked, almost heartbroken himself. And not for a second did he consider this as real. Why should it be, he thought. Kurt kissed Scott and it was just pathetic and hurt more that he, still, pretended like he had no idea what was going on.

“We are done. I'm done with this.”

Those were his last words, not ready and not wanting to waste more of his time. Kurt didn't let him. He grabbed for Blaine's hand, caught his wrist and stopped him. The feeling of his skin made Blaine shiver, aching for more and at the same time he was just disgusted. He was no idiot, no toy someone could play with whenever a person wanted to.

“Blaine, please. I have no idea what happened that-”

“No, Kurt,” he pulled himself free from Kurt's grip and gave him a cold glare, not even knowing that he was capable of doing something like this. “Stop that. You know exactly what you did. You're a liar if you pretend like you don't know why!”

He felt all eyes on them, heard some people whisper but mainly there was silence around them and a Kurt, looking lost, helpless and Blaine just couldn't look at him anymore. He left the building and needed the safety of his bed.

 

Back home he changed into his pajamas, not in the mood to eat something – like in the past days – and he wondered if he would ever eat again. His empty stomach was nothing good for his mood and he hated to be none of those people who ate their feelings away. Instead he was lying on his bed and watching something but not paying much attention. Kurt's look was still burned in his mind and he just... almost hated that he pretended like he had no idea why Blaine reacted the way he did.

What if Scott was not the only guy he kissed? What if he had more guys he loved to spent his time with and probably couldn't decide what the reason was for Blaine to break up with him. God, he felt so stupid, so... yes, used even. He gave everything he had to someone who had played with him.

“Blaine?” he heard the voice of his mother, followed by a knock against his door and buried his face deeper into the pillows, not wanting her to see his red eyes.

“Go away, please,” he said, hoping she could hear him and just do what he had said.

“Sweetheart, Kurt is here.”

That was the last person he wanted to see. Alone that his mother mentioned his name brought all the anger and pain back.

“I don't want to see him.”

“Sweetheart, he looks really-”

“I don't care! Tell him to fuck off!”

He never cursed, not in front of his parents or anyone. He usually cursed when he had sex with Kurt because he couldn't help himself. But he didn't care, not anymore. He just wanted to no feel anything and forget everything. And because he cursed his mother understood that he really didn't want to see him. He waited for some minutes and was sure to hear the front door closing.

 

Two hours later his mother came into his room, holding a tray in her hand filled with sandwiches. Blaine remained on the same spot of his bed, clutching the pillow close to his chest and avoiding her eyes. He didn't want her to see that he had been crying, again. Which was pointless because she was his mother and she knew him.

“Sweetheart,” she sighed, letting her hands run through the mess of curls and Blaine didn't move, didn't make a sound.

“You need to eat something. Starving won't help you.”

He ducked his head, fumbled with his fingers and felt how hungry he actually was but it felt, wrong, kind of. Only the memory of that picture made him want to puke.

“I don't know what happened, sweetheart, but I hope you'll listen to him. He looked just as miserable as you do right now.”

And then she left his room, giving him the space and time he really needed and wanted. But he didn't use this time to think. He ate the sandwiches and went to sleep, giving his head, heart and soul the rest they needed.

 

Mercedes came over to study with him for their English exam and for the first hours they did a good job. But, of course, she asked how he was feeling and for Blaine this was the worst thing. Exploring how he felt instead of drowning himself into school stuff or his favorite TV show. They were lying on his bed, not really watching what was on TV but only to have something in the background. Otherwise he was sure this silence would drive him crazy.

“I broke up with him,” answered Blaine and it didn't feel good. It made him feel worse because he didn't want to break up. He wanted Kurt to love him but not like that.

“Yeah, the whole school got that. Santana and Puck noticed what you did. They thought you'll cut your locker into half.”

He really didn't care about who saw them and who not. He had the right to be upset, to feel betrayed and hurt. But of course he knew Kurt would probably get away with this. Because he was popular and Blaine was the loser.

“I was just... so angry. And he acted like he had no idea why I broke up with him. Can you believe it? He treated me like I'm an idiot.”

“I never thought he would do such a thing to you. He seemed to be such a nice guy.”

Blaine huffed: “Well, he is talented, isn't he? For him wearing a poker face is probably no problem.”

Mercedes was quiet and when Blaine looked at her he could see that she didn't agree. Unlike him she was not the victim of a broken heart and dealing with all the love he had for Kurt. Her point of view on all of this was different from his and he knew that but he tried not to care. This picture said everything.

“I just... It's hard to believe he did something like that. Especially with Scott, who is a total jerk. Kurt knows that but he enjoys that they can talk about fashion. And you know the boys at our school, they don't care about that.”

Blaine said nothing, only crossed his arms over his chest and tried not to cry again.

“It just... makes no sense, you know? Though you have this picture and it screams the truth I still can't believe this actually happened.”

“Mercedes, seriously,” Blaine faced her, looked her in the eye without blinking, without breaking the contact and said: “Look at me. My face, my style, my personality. Look at me and tell me that someone like Kurt would ever love me. Me, a loser?”

“No, stop that. We've been through this so many times and, yes, what he did or... does is fucked up. It's wrong and you don't deserve this. But you changed. You changed into a better person, stronger, proud about who you are. He did it and I couldn't.”

She was right, he knew she was right but this was not helping him or how he felt. It still hurt and he wondered if it would ever stop.

“Maybe. But this doesn't stop the pain.”

“Of course not, sweetie,” she smiled, a bittersweet smile. “But we all have to go through this. Remember when I dated Aiden and how miserable I was because he left me for a blond skinny girl?”

Blaine nodded and then couldn't stop the smile, which actually hurt because he wasn't smiling in the past days. He remembered how broken she was and crying and eating and doing nothing but watch bad romantic movies.

“But I got over it and doing better, right?”

He nodded again.

“And you will too. It just needs time and I'll be here for you. I'll even watch all your favorite shows with you.”

He kept his smile but felt his eyes burning again but he felt lucky. Lucky to be able to call her his friend and have someone, beside his family, who would help him through this. Then she hugged him and he couldn't hold his tears back anymore. But she didn't mind. She understood the pain he was going through.

* * *

 

For the next two weeks he had never been more happy about the fact that they had final exams. Most of the time he pretended to study or actually studied. Mercedes, his amazing friend, made sure that he was never alone so no one would even try to talk to him. Especially not Kurt who never interrupted their conversations. She also made sure that Blaine didn't run into him. While he was waiting in the classroom she checked the hallways and when he had a class with Kurt he managed to ignore him and leave before his ex even got the chance to talk to him.

After a week Kurt gave up, probably understanding that Blaine really was not ready to talk to him. He wondered if he would ever be ready to talk to him again and just face the cruel reality. Hearing that it was true from Kurt's mouth would probably break him. And this was the last thing he needed. Everything else was already too much to handle.

 

Then there was his last week of school. No exams, no real homework and everyone was in the mood for Christmas. When he stood at his locker, to get the books he needed, a couple was standing next to him, talking about their Christmas plans and what the other wanted for Christmas. He bit his lip, trying not to make a sound or get their words close to his heart. Three weeks ago he was looking forward to Christmas, looking for a gift for Kurt and spent time with his parents and Kurt's new family. Hell, he even was excited about the wedding planning and dreamed about him and Kurt slow dancing to such an romantic event.

Slamming his locker shut he caught the attention of some students around him and really didn't mean to do that. With a sigh and feeling exhausted and almost like, everything inside him was dry. So he welcomed the end of his school day and left the building. Alone that day.

Climbing into his car he stopped at the Christmas market to buy one of those delicious hot chocolates he loved so much. Taking the cup with him he drove back home and decided to spent some time on their porch because everything was covered in snow for two days now. He stopped his car, seat belt off and opened the door to find Kurt, leaning next to their front door.

On any other day Blaine would have jumped back inside his car and drove away. That day he did not. He breathed in, trying to calm his heart and his anger and would just face this situation. If he didn't like anything what would leave Kurt's mouth he could always walk inside and ignore him. Better getting over this now then never so he could finally move on and stop dreaming about what would never become true. The apartment they wanted to have together, the slow dance they wanted to have together, the Christmas they wanted to spend together.

Yes, better to get over this for good and just move on.

“What do you want?” he asked before Kurt could say anything and noticed, again, the hurt in Kurt's eyes. The eyes that used to be blue and green and shining with love and happiness were now rainy. Sad, gray.

“I want to talk to you,” said Kurt and his voice didn't have the calm and strong sound. It was almost broken, just like Blaine's used to be in the past weeks.

“There is nothing to talk about.”

He walked closer and closer, already holding his keys in his hands to just go inside.

“Blaine, I have no idea what I did that you'd break up with me. We were happy and the next day you just... ignore me.”

“Are you serious? Do you think I'm an idiot?”

“Of course not. You are no idiot. But I honestly don't know what happened or what I did. Is it because I didn't want to go with you and watch Doctor Who?”

Blaine wanted to laugh, wanted to cry, everything all at once. But he chose to be angry and show Kurt that through his eyes.

“You really think I'm an idiot, huh?”

“No... fuck. No, I never thought you... I love you, Blaine,” said his ex, clearly hurt, clearly helpless and trying desperately to understand what was wrong. He looked so vulnerable, so not Kurt... not the Kurt he got to see and know in the past, almost, three years. And he lost it. He lost it when Kurt said he loved him. Love was not a fucking game and saying this, though he kissed someone else... Blaine just lost it.

“You cheated on me, Kurt! You cheated on me and you act like you did not.”

“I didn't cheat on you,” he breathed, obviously surprised and even shocked about what Blaine had said.

“Stop lying! I saw it! I saw you and him kissing. Actually he sent me the picture of you two kissing.”

“W... what? Who? What picture?”

Blaine did laugh, a humorless laugh and shook his head while he unlocked the door. He needed to get inside, away from Kurt before his heart would break, again.

“Your list must be pretty long of the guys you kissed while pretending that you loved me.”

“Blaine... that's not true. I... I have no idea what you are talking about.”

But Blaine closed the door behind him.

 

 


	6. Lunch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not very long (I usually try to write 4000 words) but it only has something around 3100 words. It was longer but I couldn't finish it bc a) I'm super tired it's almost 1am here b) the other part didn't really fit into this chapter. I still hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

 

Part 6. Lunch

 

Blaine felt horrible. Really horrible. Not only because Kurt cheated on him but also because he treated him like shit. Never in his life did Blaine treat a person in a bad way because he didn't want people to treat him bad. He was always nice, calm or said nothing and swallowed all the stuff they said about him.

And when he closed the door and ran into his room he was equally angry about himself as he was angry about Kurt. Well, maybe not as much because he was not the one who cheated. Never would he have cheated on him. He waited two years, two whole years he did nothing but watch him, dream about him and wish that such a beautiful human being could love him.

All he wanted was to move on, get over this and finally feel again. Somewhere, deep inside him, he even wanted his old life back and forget. But the thing was, there was no getting over of Kurt Hummel. There was no way Blaine would ever forget those sweet notes Kurt left for him. How he gently found his way into Blaine's heart, earned his trust. How he didn't complain when Blaine failed at their first kiss and told to just try it again and consider this as their first kiss.

The way he made him feel special, loved and safe. The way they shared their first time together. In love, gentle and without any haste. Blaine would never forget how Kurt Hummel stepped into his life and became his personal sun. His love, his everything. Even if it was fake, even if he was fooled, all of this felt real and he would never, never ever forget all of that.

He hated that fact.

 

* * *

 

Four days before Christmas break and Blaine seriously thought about not going to school at all. For the first time in his life he really considered skipping school just because he didn't want to. But he loved to learn, he loved to do homework and just focus on that. Now his school life was ruled by 'how do I escape Kurt Hummel'. Alone the thought that he had to try that made him sick. Yet, he walked inside the building and smiled when his eyes found Mercedes.

Last night he had a sex dream. A insanely hot sex dream and it made him groan when he woke up. He would miss sex a lot but imagining that he would never have sex with Kurt ever again? Nope. That was nothing his mind could come up with and, to be honest, this should have been the last thing on his mind. It was, only this dream made him also realize that this was gone too. And he loved sex. He loved to just feel Kurt's skin and feel him inside his body or feeling him around his cock. Yep, Blaine Anderson would definitely miss sex with Kurt Hummel.

“You look like you haven't slept again.”

“Ugh, just a nightmare,” he lied when she asked and together they walked to her locker, trying not to get shoved away by some crazy kids running through the hallway with Christmas decoration.

“Well, Christmas break is close then you can try to sleep. It's the time when miracles happen, right?” She opened her locker and rummaged in it.

“It would be a miracle if I could just forget,” mumbled Blaine and pulled his phone out, seeing a new message from Kurt but ignored it. He was really not up to that.

“It needs time,” she said and smirked at Blaine, handing him a small box.

“What is this?”

“Cookies.”

Mercedes was smiling proudly but Blaine only remembered one thing. Kurt's cookies were amazing and it brought him back to the time when they baked together and he couldn't stop eating them. He ate so much he almost felt sick and his ex kissed his belly and baby talked to him. Ugh... great, more pain.

“Thank you,” he said and shoved the box into his bag. They walked to his locker, Mercedes complaining about her family going crazy about Christmas.

“My dad is so annoying. Every year it's the same drama with him. He drags me from shop to shop to find something for my mother and whatever I say is not good enough.”

Blaine laughed a little as he opened his own locker. Christmas, yes. He already had a present for Kurt and it was pretty hard for him because he had no idea about fashion at all. That's why he listened to him when he talked about his new favorite shoes, or scarf or coat or whatever. Winter was his favorite season because he could wear so much and Blaine ended up asking his mother what Kurt exactly wanted.

Now he had a beautiful coat from whatever designer and had no idea what to do with it. It had been expensive and it was too big for him to wear it. Maybe he should just put it on Ebay.

“Anderson!” he heard someone calling his name and it was not Kurt nor Scott. When he looked behind Mercedes there was Puck, walking quickly to them and looking... worried? Blaine closed his locker, shoving his glasses back up his nose and gave the taller guy a questioning look.

“Is it true? You broke up with Kurt?”

Blaine sighed, almost rolled his eyes and Mercedes spoke: “Puck, that's none of your business.”

“Well, it is!” he said, almost sounding like he couldn't believe it. Almost as if he didn't want this to be true. It was not even such a stretch. Puck had always been supportive about him and Kurt. Someone might say he was a fan.

“Kurt's my bro and he is so miserable he has no idea what he did.”

Blaine huffed a laugh, not even caring anymore because this was truly getting ridiculous. Of all people Puck was probably the one who knew exactly what Kurt was doing. Maybe he was even the one suggesting to fool Blaine over months. Maybe he was wrong but at this point he didn't care anymore. All he wanted was for the pain to go away.

“Then you can tell your bro to go to his other boyfriend. Or boyfriends, I don't even care.”

Puck stared at Blaine with the same expression Kurt gave him. Surprised and confused. His mouth moved but nothing came out and then he looked at Mercedes waiting for something, a nod or anything. She just shrugged giving Puck a questioning look back.

“Kurt is not cheating on you. That's impossible.”

“Impossible, huh?”

Trying to swallow his anger, trying to compose himself he failed and showed Puck the picture he got some weeks ago. Why it was still on his phone was even a secret for Blaine, so he made a mental note to delete it.

“Let's go, Blaine,” said Mercedes and he couldn't agree more.

 

* * *

 

Two days before Christmas break and Blaine still didn't feel better. He deleted the picture and thought it would help. It did not and he was tired of feeling so heartbroken and lonely and so... stupid. Blaine was still waiting for his moment to literally break down and cry while his heart broke into those many pieces, cutting into his soul. This moment never came, not after weeks. Once he had read that crying helped, that letting everything out helped but for some reason he didn't feel that way. Or maybe he was just not that person. Maybe he was one of those people who held themselves together.

“Sweetheart, you aren't eating anything,” said his mother and her voice brought him back into reality. He noticed his plate, looked up and noticed her.

“Sorry... I was just thinking.”

She nodded, putting her plate aside and stared at her son, probably having enough of him trying to avoid her. That's what he had been doing since he broke up with Kurt. Avoiding the topic Kurt at all and using the excuse that he had to study a lot and needed time for himself. That was over, he knew it.

“Will you tell me what happened?”

His shoulders dropped, a sigh fell from his lips and his eyes were looking at his hands on his lap.

“Kurt cheated on me.”

“Kurt... what?”

Yes, even his mother didn't believe it. No one believed it, not even Kurt himself. But he had this picture, he had the evidence. That everyone else was surprised, confused, he understood that. But why Kurt reacted that way, well, can you spell liar?

“Did he tell you that?”

“No. I got a picture of him and a boy kissing. And this boy is new at McKinley. We were already together when we met him.”

His mother was quiet, only staring at her son and it made him feel uncomfortable. There was something about her look, something he had never seen in her eyes. Was it disbelieve? Was it disappointment? He was not sure and shifted in his seat.

“A picture?”

“Yes.”

“Did you show Kurt that?”

“Why should I? He knows what he did.”

Meredith sighed and... she rolled her eyes? What happened to his mother?

“You know, I might not be as familiar with all this internet stuff as you are but... maybe it's fake?”

Fake? Like photoshopped?

“Why would someone do that?”

“I tell you why, sweetheart. Jealousy is dangerous, you probably know that. But you know what is also dangerous? People who know what to do so you just break up with Kurt.”

Blaine was completely confused.

“What you and Kurt have... it's special, really. I've never seen something like this between two people. And I feel so happy and so proud that you two have each other. Everyone can see how much you love each other and that no one can come between you two. But you are still you and so is Kurt. And seeing something like this, him kissing someone else, is for you the reason to run away. And you know why? Because you still feel like you are not good enough for him.”

That... was true, he had to admit that to himself. But he trusted Kurt, trusted that he loved him for who he was. No matter how nerdy he was, no matter how shy he could be, Kurt would always love him. Always because it was so easy to imagine to be with Kurt together for the rest of his life.

“Some people are cruel, Blaine. Some people do such terrible things. And I'm more than sure that Kurt did not cheat on you.”

If he was completely honest to himself he didn't believe it either. There were a lot of things he was sure about, but this what he and Kurt created together, a bond of love, understanding and support, was also a thing he was sure about. Though, what was really hard for Blaine was to see the difference between what he wished to be sure about and what he actually was sure about.

“Mom, thank you, really... but I can't help it. It just hurts and I... I just want it to stop, okay?”

“I know, sweetheart. I'm sorry, maybe I'm wrong but I have a feeling like this can't be true. Kurt is not like that.”

“I don't know mom. I just... when I think about the time before we met and how I never even talked to him... how I was sure that someone like Kurt could never love me... this picture just threw me back to that time. When I was the loser and he the shining star at our school.”

Meredith sighed, giving him her mother-smile and ran her fingers through his curls.

“You are not a loser, Blaine. You are special, just like any other person is and you deserve love. Kurt loves you, I can see that. He only needs to think of you and he is literally glowing from head to toe.”

Blaine shrugged, wishing he just would stop caring. Because when he didn't care anymore he wouldn't feel anything at all.

 

* * *

 

 

Last day of school and Blaine was not so sure how to feel about it. These hallways were filled with memories of him and Kurt, but most importantly he was walking through those and there was a chance to always run into him. Avoiding him in classes was so much easier because he never disturbed Blaine when he was reading something school related.

Last day of school also meant staying at home and it was not that easy to lay in your bed where you spent so many hours with your ex. Where you kissed him and had sex with him. The bed that always smelled like Kurt and lulled Blaine into sleep. Now this bed was just a place he didn't want to think about but also couldn't stop the memories from coming back.

And the worst thing was, everyone was in the mood for Christmas, even the teachers. That's why they were rather lazy than productive during his classes. Which was annoying and made him restless. Fortunately he had a book with him and just read this when his friends weren't talking to him. Kurt was not in his classes, of course he noticed that. He hadn't even seen him walking through the hallways and for a second he was worried when he was not even hanging out with Puck.

Maybe Kurt had something to do since he was popular and loved by so many people. Whatever, it was no longer his business.

Lunch break finally came and Blaine sighed seriously considering to just skip lunch and take a walk. It was cold, there was snow everywhere and he could just enjoy that for a while. That's why he went to the lunchroom and wanted to tell Mercedes that he wasn't hungry and needed to take a walk. He was almost at the table where his friend sat, together with some other people from their Glee Club as he heard the door flying open and hitting the wall.

Gasped followed, someone complained and when he turned around he noticed Kurt, dragging Scott after him and looking furious. Really furious. Never had he seen Kurt so out of control and so angry about something and just one look at his face, filled with anger and he stood still, not able to move.

Mercedes beside him gasped, Puck was right behind Kurt and Scott, looking almost equally angry.

“Leave me alone!” Scott protested but Kurt didn't let go. He stopped, inches away from Blaine and gave him one glance. A hopeful glance, soft and pleading and then his blue/green eyes were back on Scott – Puck right behind him so he couldn't run away.

“Tell him what you did,” hissed Kurt.

“I did no-”

Puck smacked him on the back of his head and Scott cursed under his breath.

“Tell him what you did and apologize for it!” hissed Kurt again and grabbed Scott's collar, pulling him close and the other rolled his eyes. Blaine understood nothing.

“It's not my fault if he believes in everything he sees.”

“Tell him for fucks sake,” spoke Puck, not even trying to hide he dangerous tone in his voice.  
“Fine, whatever,” Scott said and Kurt let him go, waiting for him to say it while all eyes were focused on them. Literally all eyes but for the first time Blaine ignored them. He just stood there, watching, waiting.

“The picture I sent you was fake, okay? It was fake and you thought it was real,” Scott said, a small smirk on his lips and then Puck kicked his butt.

“Apologize!”

“Yeah, I'm sorry. Can I go now?”

Blaine didn't hear any more words. He just watched Kurt shoving Scott away, hissing something at him and the other boy left, flinched when Puck threatened him with his fist but didn't do anything else. Then, all eyes were back on them, silence filling the room.

Fake? It echoed in Blaine's ears. The picture was fake? Was this true? Was Kurt really in love with him and not cheating? Their eyes met and Blaine saw it. The little spark he was not able to see in the past weeks because of all the pain, all the fear and sadness he had felt. He saw the trust in Kurt's eyes, felt it inside him and when the warm hand of the taller boy wrapped around Blaine's he could finally think again.

“Blaine, I swear I did not cheat on you.”

“It... it was fake?”

“It was. Really, it was fake,” Kurt spoke, desperately trying to convince Blaine in front of all these people. So he took both of his hands into his own. “I swear, I did not cheat on you. I'd never do that.”

The intensity in his eyes was almost mind-blowing. They were such a strong green color, shining right into Blaine's eyes, reaching for his heart and soul and screaming the love Kurt had for him. Was it true? Was all of this just a fucked up idea made by Scott to... bring them apart? Was Kurt truly, honestly, from the bottom of his heart in love with him? Blaine saw no reason to doubt about that.

“It's true, Blaine. Scott used a pic of Kurt he found on the internet and created a manip,” said Puck and Blaine heard Mercedes gapes 'I knew it'. He took all of this in, his head echoing the words, he didn't cheat, he didn't cheat and then looked back at his... boyfriend. Yes, he wanted him to be his boyfriend because there was no getting over Kurt Hummel. He never wanted to get over him.

“I... I'm sorry that I-”

Being together meant to get to know each other. To know what the look from your partner meant and to literally see how the partner felt when they couldn't describe it. Kurt learned reading Blaine's face, his eyes and understand what he was saying, even when he was not sure how to say it.

That moment when Kurt shook his head, smiled, and gently took Blaine's head into his hands and kissed him carefully, that was such a moment. Yes, Blaine believed him, saw the truth in those beloved eyes.

“Finally,” groaned Puck and when Kurt pulled back the smaller boy didn't let go. He pulled him back for another kiss and was almost sure to hear some people cheer.

 

 


	7. Falling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! The next chapter will be the last chapter :) If u see for yourself where Blaine should go, let me know! I'm still not sure what he should study.

 

Part 7. Falling

From the moment they kissed in front of the whole school to the moment he was back in his room, everything had been a blur. He remembered how Kurt asked him if he wanted to leave and how he was the one driving Blaine's car. Only when he was inside his room together with Kurt and feeling those arms around his body, holding him tight he knew, this was real.

Everything was real. Kurt did not cheat on him.

“I love you, Blaine. I really do.”

And Kurt Hummel loved him. For a second he was sure he would pass out because of all the weight that fell from his shoulders but, instead, he wrapped his arms tightly around the missed body, holding on to him.

“I love you, too,” he whispered against Kurt's neck, breathing him in and waiting, enjoying, feeling finally alive again.

“Can we, lay down? I just don't feel like standing.”

Nodding he pulled back, climbing on his bed and felt just the same way. His knees too weak to hold his body that ached for those arms, for the strength they gave him. That's why he lay down, letting Kurt take his glasses off and wrapped his arms back around his boyfriend, holding him as close as possible. They did not talk, they did not kiss and they did not need to. Holding the other close was all they needed for now and Blaine fell asleep to Kurt's heartbeat.

 

He woke up an hour later, feeling fingers running through his curls and for a second he thought it was his mother. But those were not her fingers. Those fingers knew how to move and make him feel warm and loved in a way no parent could. Slowly opening his eyes he met his beautiful, smiling boyfriend and knew immediately that this was no dream. This was real and how things should be.

“Slept well?”

Blaine nodded and let his own fingers caress Kurt's cheek. He needed to feel him, to touch him just as gently and make him feel that he still loved him, that he still and always would want him. And...

“I'm sorry, Kurt. I really am. I should have...”

“No, honey. No. I should have listened to you when you said you don't like him. I just... enjoyed the fact that he was into fashion. Really, that's all. I don't know any other guys who are into fashion.”

Blaine smiled, actually smiled and kissed his cheek.

“I understand that. We... both were stupid.”

“Yeah. Though... can we pretend that we never broke up?”

Blaine actually snorted, tried not to laugh instead he giggled and nodded enthusiastically. He never wanted to break up in the first place. Maybe if they were longer together, knew each other even better, maybe then he had not one single doubt about the picture he had seen. It was all just crazy when he saw it and it threw him right back when they were no couple. Hell they didn't even talk to each other back then. This picture had brought all the old fears back, all the things Kurt tried to talk out of Blaine and he felt bad, bad that he didn't trust Kurt in the first place.

“Seriously, though. I would never cheat on you. I love you so much that... I could never forgive myself for doing something like this.”

Those words were sinking in, finding their place next to the trust and love he felt for Kurt. A trust and love that was strong, but not as strong as Blaine wished it would be.

“I know we talked about this... but it's still so easy for me to imagine that... you could find someone better than me. It's so easy to imagine that I can't give you everything you need and want. I guess it has something to do with that I never believed you would love me one day. And this whole you are popular and I am not thing. When I saw that picture I...”

Blaine breathed in, feeling his eyes beginning to burn and how hard it was to admit all that. How hard it was to open up in a different way when he said he loved Kurt, or, when they had sex. This was opening his soul to Kurt, everything he was without a wall, without a safe place to go back to.

“I didn't want to believe it. I was sure you would never do that but then I remembered everything before we met and fell back into my old way of thinking and... it was so much easier to imagine that you would leave me instead of loving me.”

For some moments they looked into the eyes of the other, fingers still caressing cheek and hair. Then Kurt brought their foreheads together and Blaine closed his eyes, listening.

“Remember how I left you all these notes?”

“Of course.”

“How I came to your workplace to convince you that I was not playing with you?”

Blaine nodded.

“Our hand holding, our first kiss, first time?”

His eyes were closed as a warm rush of feelings filled his body. He had missed this so terribly.

“I enjoy everything we do and everything we did. And when I told you I loved you I was honest. I was always honest to you Blaine because I know, for you, it's not that easy to believe that. But I say it again, and I will say it again. I love you for who you are and there is no one,” he stopped breathing when he saw Kurt's eyes became red, filling with tears but still a smile on his lips. “There is no one I want but you.”

Kurt was so vulnerable, so heartbroken like Blaine had been in the past weeks. And honest, opening himself just like Blaine when he spoke about his fears. Silly fears, he thought, because seeing his boyfriend like this made it pretty clear for him. Everything that happened, everything Kurt did for him, all of that, was honest and coming from his heart.

The plans for their future, the support they gave each other and the freedom to be who they were. He leaned in, kissing Kurt who sobbed against his lips but still kissed back.

“Please don't cry,” whispered Blaine, feeling his own tears coming back.

“I was just so scared that I lost you and I had no idea what I did.”

Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine, hiding his face in the crock of Blaine's neck and he felt the warm tears on his skin.

“You are the best thing I ever met and it hurts me to now, that, you are so insecure that you can't even trust me.”

He wrapped his arms around Kurt's back, keeping him close and thinking no, no, no. Only, there was really no way to deny it and Blaine didn't feel bad. He understood that there was a difference between loving someone and trusting this person. Trust did not always come alongside with love. Maybe it was not that he did not trust Kurt. He was not trusting himself to be more than a loser. To be a person who got the luck to find love so early.

And yet here he was, crying against his neck and pleading Blaine to trust him, to love him and never think that Kurt did not the same. Trusting and loving him. The right words to say what he thought and felt... he didn't have them. So he pressed his lips against Kurt's cheek, his fingers tangling into Kurt's hair and wiping his own eyes dry.

Slowly his shivering boyfriend pulled back, face flushed and Blaine wiped Kurt's eyes dry, smiling and getting one in return before their lips met in a gentle but deep kiss. It didn't last for long. Both had missed to kiss the other and the need to feel the other was stronger than anything at that moment. It was Blaine who opened his mouth, let his tongue out and asking for permission which Kurt gave him along with a whimper.

Between the kissing they both undressed the other, not fast enough and snorting laughs when they had troubles to open the belt or communicate what they wanted to pull off. Finally naked he smaller boy lay back down, pulling Kurt with him and spreading his legs to make room for his boyfriend. Smiling their lips went back to the kissing and Blaine's hands stroked down, from Kurt's back down to his ass and squeezing it.

Kurt moaned into Blaine's mouth and pushed back, asking for more. They did just that, grinding, kissing, touching and soon Blaine felt stupid because he was so out of this world. It's been almost a month without sex, without anything close to this and it just felt so good that he wanted to continue this and come. Kurt had other ideas and he blinked confused before he understood what the taller said.

“Can you kneel for me?”

“Huh?” breathed Blaine but was already sitting up.

“Just kneel and I'll kneel behind you? I want to try something.”

Nodding he moved further down the bed, kneeling in the middle of it and feeling Kurt's breath on his neck, followed by a kiss.

“Thank you.”

He looked behind himself, watched Kurt opening the drawer to get the lube and then sighed when he heard Kurt opening the bottle.

“I want to be inside you, is that okay?”

“Yeah... yes please.”

His boyfriend came closer, kneeling behind Blaine and pressing his left hand on Blaine's chest to push him back, until his back was resting against Kurt's chest. The hard cock of the taller rested against his left ass cheek, making him shiver and wanting more. Blue eyes met golden and they shared a sweet kiss while he felt Kurt's finger against his whole and making everything slick.

One finger slipped slowly inside, making them both moan and tremble with arousal, followed by two, then three and Blaine was sure he would just come from that.

He was moving with Kurt's thrusts, needed and wanted more while his head leaned back on his boyfriend's shoulder and whispering, that he was ready.

“Sure?” asked Kurt and Blaine nodded frantically, turning a bit around to share a hungry kiss. As the fingers left him empty he whined, pushing back on instinct but remembered that Kurt needed a bit more room to slick his cock up. They both created some room between their bodies, Blaine waiting and after some heartbeats he felt the slick head against his hole, slowly pushing inside.

Kurt's left hand was still on his chest and kept him safe, stable and always close.

Then he noticed that there was something different. Something about the way Kurt kissed him, kept his hand pressed on his chest so that Blaine always felt Kurt's chest on his back. There was something about this position but he couldn't say what yet, too busy to feel Kurt stretching and filling him.

They breathed together when Kurt was completely inside him, waiting because it has been a while since they had sex.

“You okay?” asked Kurt eventually and Blaine nodded. “Can you lean back?” Blaine did until he felt Kurt's front entirely covering his back.

“I want you to face forward,” spoke Kurt gently while his right hand joined his left, pressed against his chest and then running soothingly up and down his skin.

“Feeling comfortable?”

“It's... kind of strange not seeing you.” he said, voice breathy because this was too much, almost. Kurt hot and hard inside him, his own dick hard and already showing the pre-come and the fact that he was looking into his room instead to Kurt.

“I know,” said his boyfriend, kissing Blaine's ear: “But I want you to feel this. To feel how I hold you together and safe. I want to show you that you can trust me.”

Blaine nodded, placing his hands over Kurt's and felt how he slipped out and back inside of him.

It felt like he was falling. Falling but never crashing on the ground. Fast, long but Kurt's hands never left him. They kept him safe and close, far away from the dangerous ground. His first instinct was to turn around, to take control because it was scary. Though his heart didn't let him and he didn't want to. Trust was what he wanted and so he closed his eyes, head thrown back and resting on Kurt's shoulder.

Feeling each thrust, hearing each whisper and noise from Kurt... Blaine let go, just like that he let go and gave himself in to Kurt, trusted his boyfriend with his whole being. It was not just his heart wanting this. He was almost sure he heard Kurt's heart also screaming, pleading him to trust him and know that he was loved for who he was.

When he came it was not just the good feeling of an orgasm. There was so much more of him open, held together by those beloved hands and without a doubt, without fear he fell right into them, knowing they would stay there.

Kurt came right after him, pressing his lips against Blaine's shoulder and together they waited for their breath and hearts to calm down.

Minds working again and breathing even Kurt slipped slowly out of Blaine, his hand still on Blaine's chest to not break the contact. The smaller boy needed that, needed to feel something from Kurt. His boyfriend cleaned him up, himself and smiled when he saw Kurt's face. The wide, happy smile when his eyes became small.

Sitting down because his knees slowly hurt he watched Kurt who sat across from him and took Blaine's hands into his, kissing the knuckles and then his nose.

“I love you, Blaine Anderson. You are perfect to me just the way you are.”

At that moment he just wanted to cry of sheer happiness. He knew he still needed some time but he was determined to just accept that. That even a loser got lucky and got exactly what he always wanted.

“I love you too, Kurt Hummel.”

“Shower?”

“Mhm,” Blaine hummed and nodded, pulling Kurt gently back for another kiss before they left his room.

Around dinner time Blaine's mother came back from work and raised both eyebrows when he noticed how happy her son looked. She took her coat off and hugged her son hello, Blaine only smirking and still smirked when Kurt came out of his room.

“Kurt!” she literally shrieked and pulled him into a tight hug, ignoring that he wanted to shake her hand.

“Oh my God! Finally!” she almost jumped and squeezed him so tight the his boyfriend made a sound a person made when they couldn't breath.

“Mom! He needs to breath,” said Blaine and she let go, smiling when both her hands grabbed Kurt's face to stare at him for a while.

“Hello Misses Anderson,” he said when he could breath again. Her hands let go of his face and she smacked Blaine and also Kurt on the back of their heads.

“I hope you guys learned your lesson.”

“That hurts,” complained Blaine while he rubbed his head and Kurt did the same, a small smile on his lips.

“It's supposed to hurt so you won't forget. Now, let me cook something for dinner and you two explain what exactly happened.”

She smiled sweetly and walked off to the kitchen.

“I'll just call my dad and let him know,” said Kurt and kissed Blaine's head.

 

* * *

 

The next days were the happiest in a long time for Blaine and Kurt. They spent Christmas Eve with their families and met the next day to exchange gifts. Kurt was literally crying when he opened the gift and found the coat he wanted inside it. He kissed Blaine for 5 minutes straight before trying the coat on. Which said a lot about Kurt Hummel who loved fashion, but apparently he loved Blaine more. Blaine's gift was two books and the latest Doctor Who DVD box he had been talking about in after he had seen the special. But beside that there was something else.

A collage with pictures from them. Blaine loved that even more than the other stuff he got. Just another thing that showed him how important he truly was to Kurt that he had kept all these pictures.

When he noticed that there were also pictures with him sleeping he called Kurt creepy and giggled when his boyfriend rolled his eyes.

They ate lunch together with Blaine's parents and dinner with Burt and Carole, catching up on everything they had missed. Burt and Carole reacted the same way his parents did, happy and strict that they should never forget how stupid all of this drama was, in the first place. Dinner was fun, easy and still felt like his second home. He talked with Burt about football and with Carole about books. After dinner he went to Kurt's room to leave his bag there and went out with his boyfriend. It was snowing, silent and they just wanted to enjoy the snow and walk down the streets, hands holding like any other couple could.

He loved to hold Kurt's hand and feel his thumb caressing his skin, or gave Kurt the same back. He loved to feel the little squeeze from time to time, loved the warmth they shared. Loved just to be around this man and dared to dream about their future. In a couple of months they would graduate from school, go to college and start a new chapter of their life. Before Kurt he never imagined to leave Lima or live alone at all. It was a scary thing to imagine being alone in a different town and meet the wrong people. Meet more ignorance and never change.

Now it was so easy to imagine that because through Kurt he learned to be brave, feel bigger than he actually was and give people a chance. Otherwise he wouldn't be here, walking through the quiet neighborhood, decorated in Christmas lights and the ground covered in snow. Blaine sighed, resting his head on Kurt's shoulder and feeling how he squeezed his hand.

“What are you thinking?”

“About college.”

“So you know what you want to do?” asked Kurt.

“Not quiet. I have some ideas but I don't know. It's a big decision to make.”

It was. School was easy. Whatever he had to learn they gave it to him and he did that, knowing that he needed to learn all of this to get a good mark at the end. He never really had to decide anything because it was given. This, though, this was about his future and what he wanted to do, where he saw himself and what he loved to do.

Only one thing was for sure, he wanted to be where Kurt would be.

“We'll figure something out. There is still some time left,” whispered his boyfriend and pressed a kiss on his temple.

Blaine stopped walking and gently took Kurt's other hand into his, pulling him closer and needed to make this clear. Then they could plan and think until their heads burned.

“You know that I'll go where you'll go, right?”

Kurt smiled at him, eyes a special blue from the snow and the nightlight. They were not just blue or green. They were glasz and only for him.

“Well, I certainly hope that you want to have me around. Because I'll go where you'll go.”

And Blaine smiled, wide and happy with pink cheeks. He stuffed their linked hands into the pockets of his coat and stood on his tiptoes to kiss Kurt and bring their foreheads together.

They stood just like that, smiling and breathing in the winter wind.


	8. Try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the last part! Let's see what Blaine decides to do! Also, I'm thinking about a third part of this series (which will obviously be about their college time) but I'm not sure about that. I have still other fics planned :) anyway. Thank you for reading this and I hope you guys enjoyed this journey! See you on tumblr or in one of my other fics!

 

Part 8. Try

 

“What about music? You can play several instruments and your voice is amazing,” suggested Kurt, smiling down at his boyfriend who's head was resting on Kurt's lap as they both were on Blaine's bed.

“I don't want to become some famous musician. You'll become a famous fashion designer and I'll be your biggest fan.”

“And I'd be your biggest fan,” smiled Kurt and Blaine smiled back, knowing that he would do that.

It was January the first, the new year had just begun and he was still trying to comprehend that he began this new year with Kurt as his boyfriend. Actually it began with them kissing and making promises of love to each other. It was a fantastic night and real, no dream but real.

Now, though, he had to focus on this new year. On his and their future because Blaine still had no idea where he wanted to go after school or what he wanted to study.

“What about making movies? You know like an Editor? Or maybe writing?”

Blaine shook his head no. He loved watching and reading but he didn't see himself doing either of that. Songwriting was also hard for him but playing a song was easy. He just didn't want to become famous and be in the public eye. Not because he was too shy or because he wasn't sure he could make it. Blaine didn't want that. Just a normal, calm life with enough money and Kurt in it, that was all he wished for. However, this still required a job.

“You know, I always thought I'll just become an assistant tax consultant, like my dad. And when he gets old and gray I'll just step into his footsteps and keep his company alive. Even he told me to not do that because that's not the place I belong. It's true, I don't want to be that but I also have no idea what I should do instead. All the things I enjoy... I just want to enjoy them.”

Kurt hummed while he ran his fingers through Blaine's curls, both still in their pajamas. His boyfriend was also clueless what Blaine could do.

“We have school tomorrow. Maybe we should sit down with your friends and talk about it. I think they have more ideas than we two have.”

“Okay,” sighed Blaine and rolled on his right side to sling his arms around Kurt's waist and press his face against his belly.

“Cuddling?” asked Kurt, his hand running down Blaine's back.

“Please,” he smiled.

* * *

 

Mister Schue was sick so that they had no Glee Club on the next day of school. On any other day Kurt and Blaine had used this chance to fool around either in Kurt's or Blaine's house. That day they stayed at school and used the choir room to talk with their friends, without anyone disturbing them. Actually, it was just Tina, Mercedes, Rachel and Puck giving them their attention.

Rachel rather not because she kept on glaring at Kurt and giving her, usual, not helpful advice. Which was of course for Blaine to not attend anything music related because that was her place to shine.

“What about science?” asked Tina. “You are pretty good in math.”

“What? Creating formulas everyday and hopefully find one that makes me successful? Like in 'A beautiful mind'?”

“Oh my God, no. Of course not,” laughed Tina.

“Nope. Not gonna happen. I need that perfectly working mind,” said Kurt.

“But you could still do something with music. Like creating songs for other people and earn money through that without becoming that kind of famous, when you have to be on the red carpet,” suggested Mercedes and Rachel huffed.

Blaine leaned back on his chair, holding Kurt's hand and letting his thumb run over the knuckles.

“I know I'm... good at playing music,” he admitted and noticed Mercedes huge smile, how she nodded and was proud of him for saying this. Kurt kissed his cheek after those words, equally proud that he knew what he was good at and felt no fear to admit that.

“But that's all. I'm good at it but it's not really... what I imagine as a job.”

“What about history,” suggested Puck.

They all looked behind Blaine, where Puck was sitting and he and his boyfriend turned around.

“He is amazing in history and in English too.”

“Puck's right and you love to do some research and tell me about it. Actually, you never really shut up when you find something new out,” smiled Mercedes.

“Er.. well, I just like to... share things I guess,” spoke Blaine and still thought about that. It was true, he enjoyed history and English a lot but more because there was so much to learn and so much to never forget so the mistakes form the past won't happen again. English though, he loved literature, he loved to read and teach and talk with people about that.

His English teacher was always happy when he raised his hand and shared his opinion about a certain character or what the author wanted to tell through a story. It was his way of actually sharing what he liked and his friends had all to read the same thing. Because his friends were not watching the shows he loved so much and it was hard to share this with them. What he thought about a storyline, a character, a topic mentioned in the series. Yes, he could talk to Kurt about Harry Potter and Downton Abbey and even about the other shows he watched. But it was not the same when he had someone who just really knew what it was about.

“Why don't you teach things? History and English?” asked Kurt.

“Exactly, dude! You can wear your cool bow ties and all the girls will go aww.”

“I'm gay, Puck,” protested Blaine.

“Why not, Blaine?” gasped Mercedes and seemed to totally like this idea.

“What? No, I'm gay. I don't want any girl or even boy to go all aww. Only Kurt.”

He heard his boyfriend laugh, Tina and Mercedes going all aww and Rachel was already gone somewhere. Blaine didn't understand what was so funny or cute or whatever. He didn't want any other person but Kurt and this was no reason to laugh.

“We are not talking about that, honey. We are talking about you becoming a teacher.”

“A teacher?” repeated Blaine and gave Kurt a 'are you serious' look. He becoming a teacher and teach a room full of young people about history and English? The thought alone made him nervous and he was shifting in his seat. No, he didn't want any attention or be known in a group of people he didn't know. What about all the rumors? He remembered the rumors at McKinley and wondered how the teachers went through this without running away, screaming.

“I.. I don't know.”

“You still have some time. Not much but I totally see you being an amazing teacher,” said Mercedes and gave him an encouraging smile.

“I think she is right. You know how to explain something so another person just understands. Remember when we had math and I was literally crying because I couldn't understand it. My teacher tried it for days and it needed you to make me understand it.”

Blaine blushed.

“And don't forget the bow ties, dude,” said Puck and squeezed Blaine's shoulder.

Okay, this was a bit too fast and he really needed to sleep over this before he decided to do anything. Because all he thought about was standing in front of people, young people who could be so rude and difficult and he had to deal with them? Blaine was not so sure about that since he couldn't even handle all the looks in the hallway and he didn't even know all these people.

“I want to think about it,” he admitted and calmed down when his boyfriend kissed his cheek, whispering that this was okay.

 

* * *

 

“I think it's brilliant, sweetheart,” said his mother when Blaine told her what they came up with, not even barely convinced himself that this was what he wanted. Or what he could be good at in the future. But one thing was true.

“You love history and English I really see no problem in that.”

They were sitting in the living room, sipping some tea and waiting for Blaine's father to come home. Kurt couldn't come with him after school, both busy enough with studying and knew, together, the chances of making out were so much higher than actually studying.

“I do love that but I'm not so sure if this is what I should do, mom. Teaching young people? I can't even talk to someone when I just want to buy milk or something.”

“Sweetheart, you will change anyway. As soon as you go to New York or Chicago or wherever you two decide to study, you'll change. And you won't be alone, Kurt will be with you. I mean, you already changed since you and Kurt got together.”

She was right though. Before Kurt leaving his home seemed so scary and now he couldn't wait to move out and finally be alone with him. But his imagination only went so far. Moving out, living together, going to college or work and back home. He had no intention to go on parties or anything. Okay, he already did that with Kurt but still, he was not exactly made for those things. That made Blaine pout.

“Blaine, don't make that face. You'll eventually have to decide what to do and I think, trying this is a good idea. If you hate it you just change your major or do something else. We'll support you.”

“I know that. But it's just a scary decision to make. I mean what if I truly hate it and just... fall into a black dark hole and never come out again?”

He knew he was a bit dramatic because no one would let that happen and he was not such a person. He went through so much that just because he didn't like to study history and English wouldn't get him down. But he wanted something, needed something to focus on and work for that. Having nothing was even scarier than anything. Not to forget, that he wanted to be proud of himself and make his boyfriend and family also proud.

“You have to try things out. School is pretty simple, they give you what you need to know. But what you want to do, you have to try things out and I would do that if I were you.”

“And what if I try over and over again?”

“Then you will.” his mother smiled. “You try as long as you need to and one day you'll know what you want.”

He knew one thing. He wanted Kurt and move out so... that was at least something.

 

For the next three days he kept thinking about that and checked several school in New York and Chicago, the places they both decided to go. Then he printed the colleges out and went to his English and history teacher to ask them if they saw him there studying at all.

And yes. For some reason everyone, his parents, his friends, Kurt and even Burt and Carole saw him becoming an amazing teacher. They were all so sure about that and he still had his doubts. Doubts about something like this were unfamiliar and annoying. Doubts were always a part of his life and he hoped that, at least, knowing what he wanted to study or become wouldn't be a part of his doubts.

But it was. Of course he could always quit and start something else, try it out and see if this was it. Just how many times? And would he ever find what he wanted to do? Or maybe he would just stay at home, marry Kurt one day and take care of their children? Well, that was many years in the future and a lot of time in between. Groaning he closed his locker and pressed his forehead against the cold surface. This day had been way to long.

“What's wrong, honey,” said Kurt and Blaine felt his lips on his right cheek. Slowly turning his head he saw the warm smile on those beautiful lips, the only thing that calmed him down.

“Just... thinking. Still not sure what to do.”

“Didn't your mother say to just try?”

“She did,” he sighed and turned around, leaning against the lockers. “But I want to be sure and not just do something I'm not certain about.”

Kurt hummed next to him and then took his hand, guiding him out of the building.

“There is nothing bad about trying, Blaine. I might be sure about what I want to do but even this can change.”

“You think you won't like it?”

“I don't know. I haven't tried yet,” smirked Kurt which caused Blaine to groan again. If his boyfriend was not even sure about his future then what about him? He would never find what he wanted to do.

“Listen,” Kurt said, taking Blaine's hands as they stood next to his car and leaned against it, pulling Blaine closer and wrapping his arms around his waist. “We will always make decisions. Some we'll be sure about and some we won't. And I know for sure that I want to be with you and live with you. And I'm not so sure if I'll be a good designer, but I love it and I want to try.”

“Well, I'm sure about us too.”

“See?” he smiled and kissed Blaine's forehead. “We don't even know if we get into one of those colleges but we have us and I think we can start with that and see where it goes?”

“So... you suggest I should study that? History and English and become a teacher?”

“I think you should try. Yes, I think you'll be amazing and doing fantastic, but you will know if this is it for you or not.”

He thought about it, thought and let his hands rest on Kurt's chest, feeling his heart beating under his fingers. Maybe it was time to... just jump into the cold water and try. Also, it was not like he had more time to think so, better doing this. At least he enjoyed history and English so, it was, perhaps, okay to apply for things he was good at.

“Okay. I think I'll try,” decided Blaine and pushed his glasses back up his nose, seeing the smirk on Kurt's face which was, well, a little bit confusing. That smirk was not the happy one, it was more... teasing.

“What? Why are you smirking like that?”

Kurt laughed, leaning closer and whispering against Blaine's ear.

“I always wanted to have sex with a teacher.”

“What!?” exclaimed Blaine and Kurt laughed again. What? Where did this come from? Since when was Kurt into.... what? He thought about their teachers, tried to come up with one who was, well, attractive to Kurt. But there was none and his jealousy found no place to bloom.

“I was joking, Blaine. Oh God, do your really think I had a crush on one of our teachers?”

“I hope not though. You've been in love with me for a year before we actually began to talk.”

“True.” Kurt smiled, the warm smile only meant for Blaine. “But I still think it's pretty hot. Us in bed and me saying _'Yes, mister Anderson, yes more'_ ”

“Oh God,” Blaine blushed, stuttered as he heard Kurt fake moaning and wanted to tell him to shut up but he was busy with covering his face because he actually liked that. God, he even felt his cock responding to that and took a step closer, pushing himself against Kurt's body so no one saw the growing boner.

Kurt giggled, holding him tighter and whispering: “I love you, mister Anderson.”

 

* * *

 

The next months were crazy. Really crazy. Everyone was going crazy, expect Blaine and Kurt. Their applications for college were out and all that was left was studying for their final exams. But their friends literally lost their shit and cried when they didn't something while studying. Both helped them, met them though they planned other things – including only the two of them. It was a burden to be a good friend and beside that, Kurt had his responsibilities as the popular dude on their school. It was his last year and he helped not just their friends but also clubs he was once a member of, teachers who thought highly about him, people he didn't even know.

Blaine was just happy that nothing else happened. No Scott trying another move, no big love drama or baby drama, just Kurt following his duties and Blaine his.

So, when the exams where over they both drove away, somewhere outside of Lima without anyone around them and took a nap in the backseat of Kurt's car.

 

Then their letters came, two from New York one from Chicago. They were sitting in Blaine's room, staring at their letters and Blaine swallowed visibly. What if he got a yes from Chicago and not New York? What if Kurt got a yes from New York but not Chicago? God, he didn't want to open them and know it and face the hard reality that they would not live together.

He didn't want that. The 'break up' they had was horrible enough and a long distance relationship? God, no, that was even worse than breaking up because he was used to have Kurt around. He needed the kisses and cuddles and needed to sleep next to him. The only person who could really calm him down and give him what he needed to not give up. Maybe it was wrong to rely on Kurt so much, but he did.

“Blaine, whatever comes out of this, we'll leave together, okay?”

And he sighed, needed to hear that and kissed Kurt for that. Yes, he was right, they would go together.

“New York first?”  
“Yes.”

They took their letters and read the first one. Kurt got in, Blaine did not. The second letter told both they didn't got in. New York was safe for Kurt. What if Chicago was the same result? What was he supposed to do if he didn't got in at all? He didn't notice how he was breathing faster, trembling until Kurt wrapped his arm around Blaine's shoulder.

“Hey, I'm sure you got into Chicago.”

“What... what if not? What if yes but you did not?”

“We'll figure it out. Don't worry,” whispered Kurt and handed Blaine his letter, now both of his arms around him, calming him down as he opened the letter, knowing he had no choice as to do that.

Usually he would have smiled about the fact that was there, black on white that he got in. Usually he would have been relieved and celebrating with his boyfriend.

“See?” smiled Kurt, voice clearly happy and it was a beyond Blaine how his boyfriend could be so calm, so happy. So... sure that they would go together. Pulling back and watching Kurt opening his letter he closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against the shoulder and waiting. One second, another but it felt so much longer when Kurt spoke.

“Chicago then, huh?”

His voice was happy, almost excited and when Blaine leaned back to read the letter he couldn't stop his own smile. They both got in. Both got into a college in Chicago and Blaine was more excited about the fact that they would stay together instead of having a place to study. But... wait.

“What about New York?”

“Blaine, really?” Kurt laughed and pushed him back on the bed, straddling him and bending down for a kiss. “Screw New York. We both got into Chicago and that's where we'll go.”

Hearing those words was so much better than thinking them. Them, together going to Chicago. Only the two of them. Breaking into a honest and wide smile he kissed Kurt again, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close. That was all he wanted and needed.

“I love you,” he whispered, feeling Kurt's lips on his cheek and hearing him whispering the same words back.

It felt so unreal, all of this even when Kurt said: “We need to tell our parents and look for a nice apartment,” it felt so unreal that his head began to spin because of the sheer happiness he felt at that moment. So he just nodded, not able to speak but only doing that and looking into those blue orbs. He couldn't wait to see those eyes every morning and every night. Couldn't wait to create a new home together with him. And everything else? For some reason he knew it would work out. One way or another.

 

 


End file.
